Kibworth have been crowned Everards Challenge Cup champions.
They powered to a 98-run victory over Lutterworth with an impressive performance in the final at Market Harborough.
Kibworth were put in to bat and raced to 239-4 in their 40 overs.
Josh Cobb, batting at No.3, hit 71 and skipper Andy Smith, who went in at No.4, was unbeaten on 81.
Kibworth's left-arm opening bowler Tom Driver, who has been in good form in recent weeks, caused plenty of problems for the Lutterworth batsman. He took 3-34 and Richard Jackson 2-9.
Although Lutterworth skipper Karl Smith cracked a quickfire 44, his side were all out for 141.
Kibworth are a side who are used to winning trophies.
In the last 10 years, they have landed the national club championship twice, the Everards County League crown four times, the County Cup twice, and this is their third Challenge Cup triumph
But young players such as Aadil Ali have made a big impression and Driver has been a revelation in recent weeks.
Smith said that it makes a big difference when Leicestershire's Cobb and Greg Smith are available.
He added: "Our batting has let us down a couple of times but the league is so close that, if you win two or three games, you can be right up in the mix again."
Mkt Harborough vs 1st XI
FK's report as told to North Korean Journalist from FK’s current stratospheric position.
Saturday would see a trip to much loved and respected neighbours Market Harborough (FK will expand on this statement in the bar if you ask him).
A earlier rain shower freshened up the pitch and a KCC side which saw the returning feaster of runs Aadil and a freshly promoted Bozzie, bristling with enthusiasm much like one of his pupils and on the back of a juicy ton.
Both chuckle brothers were unavailable for selection due to county commitments and Cobb hopefully getting a Clydesdale game on Sunday.
Wierdo and Selector tossed up, with tactical selection by Weirdo opting to bat first and bowl out kcc. We all like Chris as he is a top lad and a solid local cricketer and good bloke. His decision to bat was purely so he could have 50 overs to shake off a sizeable hangover, but perhaps also because they fancied putting a big score up and backing their bowlers to knock us over.
Bozzie has the knowledge and access to some extremely complex and confusing training routines, which was always going to be a challenge to the lads as running and throwing at the same time is normally a bit tough. The generals new warm up involved about 5 stumps, 2 balls and a lot of communication. Amazingly nobody was injured or wounded and it seemed to go very well and didn’t look bad from the road. I am not convinced it would go so well without the general running them though. Before the warm up, it had to be said that the youths were dealt a harsh lesson in football. Eagerness, pace and youth, is no match for additional kilo’s, control and vision and so the young un’s were hammered off the park.
Harborough opened with Rob Taylor and Michael Philips (Taylor has a limited number of admirers, himself mainly although FK is willing to describe in detail his unending admiration for both openers to anyone with earshot, or text or e-mail). Both swaggered to the crease and their 28 ball stay produced 17 runs before Taylor who been his usual mild and modest self, nicked off to FK from Driver. Further in detail discussions of Rob’s future as a professional player are available – please see FK for details
Philips would be bowled by Burty for 6, giving him plenty of time to engage in other activities (FK has several suggestions in this regard if you want to ask).
Innes and Bagwhati are top quality cricketers and formidable allrounders and getting through these 2 would have a major impact on the game if we could pick them up cheaply. Innes settled in patiently and some good bowling from driver and burton went unrewarded. Bhagwati rode his luck a bit early on but inbetween that put the bad ball away very well.
The benefit of Pullo not being at the crease means that he is further away from you. The downside is that he just shouts louder from where he is (that’s what it comes down too although FK put it in somewhat longer terms – NKJ) so with Blinkers on and hearing aids turned off, we enjoyed the delights of pullo’s commentary while Innes and Bhagwati set about a solid partnership. The bowlers it had to be said were considerably unlucky, edges didn’t go to hand and any drives in the air went either side of fielders and it became very frustrating. Selector mixed up the bowling and brought renno into the attack. And the batting duo were keen just to see him off in his first 6 overs, again unlucky with edges and the partnership quickly went passed 60. Spiro and Daz looked to find something different and the change of pace slowed the game down slightly but the heads were lowering and it was a struggle in the humid heat as the 2 experienced batters started to build a dangerous platform for a wickets in hand assault at the end and with Pullen, Griffiths, Mackey and Gordon still to come in and all more than useful batters and not afraid to go over the top.
It would be Spiro who would break the deadlock. So I don’t upset Harborough I won’t refer to Spiro as the ledge, as apparently according to The Don, he isn’t a real spinner and to use the words Legend is a disgrace. For someone who has taken 180 wickets since the records went on-line and comfortably the league’s highest wicket taker, along with having bowled more maidens than any other bowler 253 and 4 times taken 5 wickets in a game, and appeared in a record 10 Lords Finals, I can see what they mean and will remove any Legend references from any future reports.
Russ built enough pressure to entice Innes to a mistimed clip and Aadil the 15 year old junior cricketer who played all his junior cricket at Kibworth (like Burty and FK), would take a good catch. At 133 for 3 and with Bhagwati on 46, Neil “F bomb” Pullen would come to the crease. For a detailed discussion of Mr Pullen’s talents as a player over many years please speak to FK…….you can guess the rest? Normally free scoring, Pullo struggled with his timing and when early in his innings he top edged a pull to backward square leg, the usual Aadil buckets were waiting. The next bit is perhaps the most unusual. Firstly Ad’s dropped it, but second was then shouted to by Pullo, who applauded and congratulated Aadil on his drop and great hands and good fielding. The next couple of minutes seem to have a mixture of stunned silence and disbelief as anyone who has played long enough couldn’t recall a situation like that or would think that anyone would stoop as low as low as that on a cricket field. (PLEASE ALSO NOTE THAT IN AN ARSENE WENGER STYLE, NO ONE FROM MHCC HEARD THIS DESPITE THE GAME STOPPING FOR 3 MINUTES)
Renno, Spiro, FK ands Selector clearly didn’t take this well and piled into Pullo, who as you would expect didn’t see anything wrong, didn’t care and wondered why it had upset the senior players. Clearly we weren’t going to change someone’s attitude who acts like that so we carried on with the game .
KCC would not take another wicket and although with a big platform, Bhagwati would be batting for himself and was only thinking about his ton, which he duly got and was well deserved from 126 balls. Pullen hadn’t finished and as a run out attempt took place the ball bounced off his pads near his feet, which he then just hit away to square leg to further annoy the fielding side. He finished on 43 and Harborough on 243, which the KC boys thought was a decent escape with so many batters in hand a testament to some good bowling all round and not much luck in the circumstances.
So as always a fantastic tea at Harborough. The ladies always do a superb spread and this was no exception and very welcome after a long frustrating afternoon in the field.
Burty and the badger would open up as regs and with innes in particular swinging it and nipping it around and weirdo also bowling his usual really good channels it was a tough start for the pair. Both would fall LBW, although this week it would be Burty who would be sawn off as a thick inside edge cannoned into his pads to go unheard by the umpire and the LBW adjudged against him.
The badger would also fall LBW to Weir and at 24 for 2, things looked shaky to say the least. Selector looked solid in early defence but pushed at an innes away swinger and was taken at slip by Bhagwati to leave us reeling at 24 for 3, with Daz and Aadil at the crease. Aadil was welcomed second ball by a C bomb and plenty of other much more personal abuse which I won’t mention. (None of this was heard by those on the sidelines) Daz didn’t cement himself and was bowled by skipper weir and it was painful to watch and listen to the baying hyenas from the dressing room as we collapsed to 26 for 4.
Aadil was in the zone and more determined to play another gutsy role and ease back on his natural attacking and dominating style. He would be partnered now by Bozzie, who despite all going on around him was grinning beneath his helmet and enjoying the abuse all round. Old pro’s have heard it all before and highly intelligent and personable (sic) early 20’s and teens like Taylor and Philips are not going to concern the bozzle who started to build a nice little partnership with Aadil, as they ran well and started to frustrate the bowlers. Left arm Taylor in particular was finding this hard to deal with and he tried to bounce Aadil several times, only got the young batter to sway harmlessly out of the way of his medium pace deliveries (of course you know by now that FK didn’t write deliveries, don’t you?).
Having put on 70 together things were looking good. As Aadil pushed a single into the midwicket gap off Taylor for a single he ran through to the bowler end, where as he passed Taylor, there is some suggestion that, (allegedly and of course in no way proven and it could have been a mirage) he swung out his back leg to trip over Aadil as he attempted to complete his run. Aadil turned immediately round after reaching the crease to question Taylor and selector was off his seat to confront weirdo about the action just having taken place. None of this was supposedly seen by the umpires who refused all game to intervene on the personal abuse dished out to a minor.
Just to surprise you no-one from MHCC saw any of this take place. Aadil continued to bat on and Taylor’s only answer to the youngster was to try and run him out while he backed up as he hadn’t been good enough so far to get him out with the ball. With all his childish antics getting on FK’s nerves from the changing room, he shouted out to Taylor that he was a “brain dead Moron”. In hindsight, FK had lowered himself to Pulloeasque standards, but at least had refrained from using any swear words in public. Of course this exchange was picked by home supporters and an entire paragraph of text now has to be deleted. If you want details…….you get the picture? - NKJ Aadil was finally bowled by the big tough Taylor for a really gutsy 32.
At 101 for 6, we were really in the brown stuff but unfortunately Renno couldn’t hang in with Broughts and Drives was judged LBW. And it was 126 for 8, with 16 overs to go and the call for FK to advise broughts as he went to the crease not to hand them a win.
Both Broughts and FK would delight in blocking it to death. Both grew up playing on the old ground with a 7 year old Cobb and an excitably Kirby all playing against the green bin with a stump and tennis ball to see how long you could last and not get out, with 15 fielders, one hand one bounce and bat as long as you can.
This was just like that, but with massive levels of abuse, mainly directed at broughts, who was giggling away and FK laughing at the taunts of taylor, who was happy to hide behind others. I was going to summarise all of the comments but I think they would ensure the report would be removed (bloody hell I hate to think what he was going to write here – NKJ), but needless to say 16 overs of personal abuse and talking while the bowlers ran in were all apparently fine.
All in all it just made FK and broughts more determined to bore out a draw and not hand them a win. Weirdo to his credit as top bloke admitted they would have done the same and the lads who just got on with it were Weirdo, Mackey. Joey, Griff and strangely Pullo. It was only the Don who looked like he was going to explode, big man taylor and his young opening partner (no he didn’t write that either – NKJ).
Collins and perry bowled superbly and ragged it around. Really promising lads and played with great skill and loads of variety, flight and pace. I hope they don’t learn too much from some of the other players around them. Taylor trying to bounce FK and with FK reminding him that he wasn’t good enough to get out an old number 10 and broughts was a complete rabbit, he didn’t have the brains to bowl in the right area and earn his team a win. A couple of overs of rubbish just spoilt their chances of winning as he was more concerned with what to say to FK after he bowled. FK has avoided frying pans, flower vases and other items, including some outrageous put downs from Pix over 15 years, nothing Taylor could offer would compete.
With the din having the last over, the umpire finally gave FK out LBW off the 2nd ball of the last over (full description of the trajectory of the ball, position of wicket keeper are available – NKJ). Ledge played out the last 4 balls and harborough would finish 4 point off a win but in the end they had backed themselves to bat first and bowl us out and a 9/10 & 11 had held them off.
Harborough are without doubt the best side in the league and if they win it, it will be because of that.
Pullo as regs became a gentleman off the field and the don apologized for his erratic behaviour and bought the beers all round and said he was just fired up. The boys showered and had a beer with the harborough lads with the exception of Taylor who cleared off.
All in all it makes harborough clear favourites unless there are any surprises. KCC wished the lads all the best in the county cup semi the following day and returned to kcc where both spectators have full use of their hearing and 20:20 vision.
Bye for now FK may have calmed down by next weekend or the drugs may kick in, I’m off for a lie down - NKJ
Midlands Regional finals day at Leamington Spa on Monday saw Kibworth Under 15's comfortably overcome Shrewsbury CC in the morning semi-final in front of a good turnout of supporters. Skipper Aadil Ali and Charles Hurley shared an opening partnership of 69 before Aadil reached his 50 by reverse sweeping for four and having to retire. Bhavik and Fido both holed out but Charles went on to make 35 before being third out with the score on 123. The Shrewsbury bowlers gained some control in the later overs but Olli Cornish hit 20 off 13 balls to ensure that the great start wasn’t wasted. In reply the Shrewsbury openers took 20 off the first two overs before Gregson skied a ball from Aadil into the safe hands of Harry Miller at Mid-off and in the following over Harry, now fielding at deep square leg pocketed his second catch off Charles Hurley’s bowling. Miller the bowler then cleaned up Ellis to leave Shrewsbury at 36-3 in the sixth over and the innings never recovered. Bhavik Patel entered the attack and proceeded to claim 3 for 8 off four overs the first wicket a superb diving catch at deep midwicket by…..you’ve guessed it….Harry Miller. Sadly a finger injury sustained in the warm up meant that Chris Carson had to leave the field after bowling a single over but in his place Olli Cornish bowled his leg-breaks to good effect and finished with 3-18 as Shrewsbury were dismissed for 103. After a sumptuous lunch provided by the Leamington club who were great hosts all day the boys prepared to take the field for the final against Aston Rowant CC from Oxford who had gained a walkover in their semi final after their opponents from Norfolk cried off on Friday night. Unfortunately after losing the toss the spark of the morning was missing from the Kibworth fielding effort. Aadil claimed an LBW in the very first over but the pattern for the innings was set when the morning hero’s Miller and Patel conceded 29 runs from their opening overs. The second wicket pair eventually added 59 in six overs before a smart stop by Hurley at mid on induced a run out. The watching supporters hoped that this might spark the team to greater efforts but things continued to go poorly for the Kibworth lads. A total of 16 wides were added to the total as the bowlers struggled to contain the scoring and despite wickets falling in each of the last three overs a final target of 153 looked testing. The Kibworth reply started poorly as Charles Hurley chopped a wide ball on to his off stump leaving Aadil and Bhavik to try and consolidate. The pair added in 58 in 8 overs before Bhavik walked across his wicket and was bowled behind his legs for 26. Four balls later Fido skied to point and the innings really hit the skids as Olli was run out for a duck two overs later. 72 runs were needed off to the last 9 overs and Aadil and Windy knocked off 17 of these before Aadil was caught at deep square leg for 47 of what looked suspiciously like a no-ball for height. Laurence Joel joined Harry and the pair forged a partnership of 32 off the next 4 overs before a running mix up stranded Harry well short of his ground. 25 were required off the final two overs and when Monik Patel was clean bowled for a duck it looked as if we would fall well short. Laurence was run out of the first ball of the final over for 22 to leave 15 required from five balls and our two youngest players Curtis Harding and Dyaus Patel at the crease. Dyaus hit a single of his first ball before Curtis brought the crowd to its feet by smashing a six over midwicket to reduce the requirement to 8 from three balls. A scrambled single brought Dyaus back on strike and everyone debated the unlikely odds of KCC’s most diminutive players taking 7 off the final two deliveries. A few seconds later we were all on our feet again as Dyaus walked across his crease and swung the fifth ball through square leg for four to leave three required from the final delivery. Dyaus repeated the shot missed and amidst total confusion the boys scrambled two byes to leave the scores level and for a few seconds no-one knew who had won. Sadly the penny rapidly dropped that our loss of 8 wickets to Aston’s 7 had condemned us to defeat and the boys had to content themselves with losers medals as the Oxfordshire side claimed their place in the finals at Kibworth on 24th August. It was a sad end to a great season but the boys deserve great credit for the way they performed on the day and the attitude with which they represented the club…….well done guys
Sitting comfortably? You would have had to have been at Bitteswell yesterday afternoon.
Kibworth escaped with a draw, when after a style effort at the top of the order, they had slumped to 56 for 6 with 25 overs to bat chasing an impossible 261 to win. The rearguard fought out by John Bleby and the skipper was breathtaking in its belligerence, awe inspiring in its application and mind boggling in its boredom. By the time the partnership had been broken after doubling the score only three overs remained and KCC were all but home.
Bitteswell had picked a strong team. Initially they were 8 for 2, Harry Miller claimed two victims ironically both called Miller to prove once and for all that things obviously work differently in the country. Siraj and Jatin both bowled nicely and things looked good, even at 120 odd for 4 the visitors were in the game but a strong hitting partnership took the game away from the Legends. The home skipper hitting a century and his opposite number out of the park on a few occasions to the short leg side boundary. Aided and abetted by some ordinary back up bowling the home side had amassed a pretty impregnable score.
The Kibby reply started badly and then tailed off. Ken, still sporting the scars of last week's battle, played on. Badri didn't pick up a full bunger, Sam had no luck, Siraj lasted only 4 balls, Imran swiped one too many, Windy had a balance disaster and was stumped by a mile. All in all it was like walking into a lap dancing bar and finding out the Sumo Wives were top of the bill.
To be fair to Bitteswell they then employed a few overs of flighted stuff before deciding the bar was indeed open and brought back the quick stuff. One bowler in particular who looked like he had strayed from a local basketball court had a field of four slips, a gully and a leg side catcher close in, on a Sunday. When no success was had, and when they realised shots on the leg side were at a premium there was literally a 9 -1 field in operation for a time. Still the rearguard went on.
Frustration was beginning to set into the Bitteswell attack. The run chase, if it ever existed, had long time since been called off and despite them throwing everything they had into the fray they couldn't shift the seventh wicket partnership. The Bard ducked into a short pitched delivery and wore in on the rib cage, plenty of padding there though. In frustration the tall bowler (modeled on step ladders presumably) even tried a full fledged bouncer at the skippers head. I don't mean to be rude but when you can't hit a target that size you know it isn't your day.
In the final analysis John Bleby (19) and The Bard (14*) had faced over 80 each for their troubles, worn some into the bargain, but showed commendable concentration to save the day even if (and without wishing to be unkind) it showed up some issues with their conditioning. Perhaps Cricket hadn't been the winner but the sheer guts shown made sure that Bitteswell weren't either.
TEAM
Pole, Pounds K, Badri, Yusuf, Patel I, Miller, Bleby (Wkt), Jennings(Capt), Burridge, Cooper, Lodhia. 12 Man (God Bless 'im) 's
Following the double success of the previous weekend, spirits were high at KCC. The Weds night boys had secured the league title and also had the league cup final to look forward to. The under 15’s had the national finals on Monday, the 3rd’s are marching to league success (fingers crossed) and the previous week still meant the selectors boy’s were in the title hunt as well as a league cup final to play.
Team news. With Chuckle brother Cobb fit again, he would be re-united with his comedy partner. After an 8 week absence, Renno would rejoin the team, having amassed enough brownie points for several stag do’s, nights out, having become a domestic god during his injury lay off. Greg’s inclusion would mean that the much better, more consistent and likeable KCC through and through Aadil, would miss out.
The visitors were a quality Loughborough outfit. Challenging for the title as usual and with Harry Gurney, Frecklingham, Gidley & Gamble, it was one of the most useful bowling line ups in the league. The visitors normally bring an annoying pointless bloke with them called Reg. He wasn’t attending, so Kibworth provided one in the shape of Greg Smith.
Also returning from a highly important cultural exchange was the catalyst. A trip to the races whilst on the no games of cricket medbourne cricket tour, would lighten the catalysts wallet to the tune of £300. Putting money on something with absolutely no hope of success would potentially put the catalyst in the position of putting money on greg scoring a run.
So with Aamir serving his 2nd weeks punishment, the boys were primed to do battle with Loughborough. Because the county boy’s have so much time on their hands because they don’t really do any proper work and have no responsibilities in life at all, they often socialise together to discuss how to improve their techniques and become more accomplished and established professionals in their chosen sport. Well that’s what the real ones do, we have the chuckle brothers!. Loughborough thought well ahead of the fixture and thoughts that if Gurney could entice the chuckle brothers into a late night drink fuelled frenzy, they would be utterly useless. It was a great plan, as the empty headed duet fell for it and dutifully turned up worse for wear and with limited enthusiasm or commitment (yes I know it could be any saturday!)
So what better way to focus the mind than by batting first. Dips opted for the tried and trusted method of points gathering by bowling first and then looking to knock them off.
The badger and stringy would off course open the batting. Badger thinks it’s totally unfair that burty also gets to open the bowling and has publically stated he will leave the club next week if he also doesn’t get to open the bowling as well from the other end. To be honest he has more variation and accuracy and 20mph more pace than burty, so it could be a good call.
Gurney and Frecklingham shared the new ball and with cloudy skys and humid climate, the ball would move around and seem about, giving the opening partners plenty to contend with. Without a lot of pace in the deck, it would be a tough task and both went about their business with determination. Burty would have perhaps wanted to get on the front foot to one which he misjudges and was bowled by Gurney.
Had Burty lost his off stump 15 minutes earlier, our number 3 batsman would have had to go to the crease with a towel round his waist as Greg decided it would be the optimum time to shower and chuckle 2 at number 4, departed to the downstairs throne room with Nuts magazine and an upset stomach.
Luckily Burty had compiled 13 giving time for Greg to pad up. At the other end the badgers reverse V was in full flow. Dips was clearly getting frustrated as the seemingly hexagonal face of the badgers bat, had the ball passing through gaps that no captain could plug when the badger is playing his unique batting style.
Greg looked superb and got behind the ball, timing the bad delivery with the full face of the bat. He seems to be blessed with sublime vision and picks up the line and length so early. The shot selection was imperious and every slightly off line delivery was punished with an effortless punch and drive and the scoreboard rattled on. Greg was in a bubble and it was evident that he wasn’t going to give his wicket away and help the badger build an unassailable partnership.
And then the balcony awoke from it’s little snoozy dream and we were back in the land of reality. Greg was cleaned bowled by a bloke he practices against every single day and knows exactly what he bowls. Greg added nothing to the score and would be replaced by Cobb.
The bowling changes would see sharma and Gamble into the attack but not before Gurney could have a blast at trying to remove teammate Cobb and get himself a chuckle double, which would be about as hard at touching your own nose with your hand. Cobb opted for attack and having struck Gurney for a lofted straight drive for 4, it would look at though one of the chuckles would be delivering. That wasn’t to be the case as the gentle wobblers of Gamble would see Cobb caught by Bull for 10 runs. The hardly surprised selector in at 5 would now partner the stubborn badger. Not concerned at playing and missing, the badger put away anything that was remotely loose. Leaning back and with as much carving as an all you can eat Sunday roast, he continued to add runs to his Total as one of the premier leagues all time leading run scorers (facts and statistics used courtesy of Badgerdatasystems.com)
Experience is key in these clashes and with the Kibworth Boys led by the all time record number of appearances in the premier league since 2003, the Selector was in no mood to cheaply throw his wicket away casually and senselessly like greg, so dug in. Selector may indeed by able to challenge the badgers stats had he not divided his time between being a decent cricketer and totally average footballer. A footballing career blighted by injury and lack of talent hasn’t deterred Bitteswells 43rd favourite son from turning out for the famous Welford something or others in Division 8 of some hackers league.
Anyway, selector kept the badger company for 28 solid runs before snicking off to keeper buck. Unusually the selector would not be stumped, but if he had have in this instance used his feet and not remained welded to his crease in fear of being heckled by FK for being stumped again, he might have reached a higher total. What it did mean however is that the most perfect pairing since Adrian Chiles and Christine Bleakely were back together again. POTS and the badger rolled back the years when they were part of the famous Hinckley team that they managed to get relegated and then leave to get relegated again.
It had to be said it was like Poetry. Well POTS was, Badger continued to provide more chips than McDonalds and eventually would perish LBW to Cook. And yes the same as every other week, he wasn’t actually out as he middled it into his pads. Blah Blah Blah (your out!)
A scrabble of padding up for the sloggers and various potential batting orders after Renno went to the middle. It was perfectly set for the big man to slam us big quick runs and having reached 18 reasonably swiftly, he was taken to a decent catch by keeper buck and then the catalyst and broughts would both have the final say after POTS was bowled by the returning Gurney. The 2 left handed sloggers added a quick scrambled 5 runs and we closed on 208 with max batting points reached. An unusually untidy 22 wides from Loughborough would cost them in the wash up, something the KCC boys would look to avoid from previous weeks experiences.
The boys watched some cricket during the lunch interval before Spiro decided we needed to prepare ourselves and so hared off to get changed. Russ isn’t one to string out his lunch.
The new ball would be taken by Burty. It would be a momentus day for the under 17’s skipper and not for cricketing reasons. Post game the Trotty Botherer would take his place under the conical shaped water dispensers in the room at the back of the changing room with the drain at the side. Yes Stringy would have his first shower of the season!! Unfortunately for him it would be in all his whites having being dragged in by a semi naked badger. Please note to all, this in no way contravenes any Child Welfare issues and the badger is fully CRB checked as a qualified level 3 coach. So back to the game!
The catalyst would also take the new ball as a competition as to who was the best tom would take place. Contrasting styles as the Burly left handed kitchen creator and master craftsman the catalyst would run in off his trademark 5 paces with a heavy ball, back of a length and burty would hustle in, blonde wig bouncing in the breeze bowling his little meds with some away swing and cutters with FK up to the stumps.
It wasn’t long before the top 3 were all back on the balcony. A snick from Anish Patel was taken by FK of the catalyst and 2 good catches in the ring were taken by POTS and Selector so they were 21 for 3 off the first 34 balls of the game and it looked good if we could drive home the advantage. However the Loughborough batting line up is very strong and with Gidley and skipper Dips at the crease there was utter determination to see it through. Gidley in particular robot like and refused to join in the general good humour in the field. He faced 73 balls in his innings and managed a weak smile at something greg said. (gregs 1 and only contribution of the day was to extract an almost grin from Gidley. Well done Greg.)
Daniel Broughton, aka, (the Northamptonshire Visiting Umpires liaison officer) was steaming in, egged on by Greg. With mad burning eyes and a stare that could make kids cry, he was getting plenty out of the track that had yielded little else for other bowlers. His enthusiasm and effort had looked to have paid off, as Gidley shuffled in his crease and was absolutely stone dead with the ball definitely hitting middle and off, ¾ of the way up the stumps. The kind of LBW that the batter at the other end knows is out and the batter thinks he could probably walk for. The only person who didn’t think it was out was the visiting northants umpire. Clearly there is some sort of local rule in their league where LBW’s are not permitted. Now having bowled at his hairy best, you could say that the big man was reasonably disappointed. What you then don’t need from the officials is an explanation of why it was not out, that even the most gifted story teller couldnt make you believe. Paul McKenna couldn’t have hypnotised us to believe that is a) had pitched outside the line, and b) was going down. All that did go down was a complete shocker of a decision. Almost as bad as someone picking Greg Smith for the county this weekend.
Anyway, broughts huffed and puffed and departed to 3rd man. If the umpire thought the ball that flew over his head in the next over thrown by broughts was an intentional aim, he certainly hadnt seen much of broughts fielding over the years. How can those enormous spindley levers whirling around, actually guarantee any accuracy and so it wasn’t a deliberate wild one, just a regs broughts chuck.
Having had some banter, Gidders the cheerfull eyed up a drifting delivery from the Ledge and fired it to short mid wicket to be well held by selector. Getting his hands closed round one. He would get another chance in identical fashion later on, so would clearly be ready to take it.
Skipper dips continued to defy all the efforts of mixed bowling changes, swopped ends and numerous appeals for leg before and was Boycottesque in his obdurate innings. The arrival of Mitch Buck to join him changed the game as the usually fluent and clean hitting Buck started to look dangerous. Having played all his junior county age group cricket he would surely know that the catalyst bats left handed, bowls left handed and throws overarm left handed, but like a strange freak of nature, he thrown underarm right handed? He clearly had forgotten this as he took a cheeky single to the big man, only to see him swoop majestically like an eagle and in his right talon, pick up the ball and run out Buck for a swift 38 from 40 balls. With Patel and buck at the crease it was looking like a comfortable task as the small kcc total was being counted down with no trouble. With Cook and freckingham still to bat, it was still looking like Loughboroughs game.
Cook would get a few glares from Dips as he attempted a couple of unnecessary slogs and ride his luck. A nice 6 was followed by a few heaves and despite possible warning of impending violence, he ignored his captain and continue to swing, for broughts to pick him up via the safe buckets of renno the weekend housemaid. It was his second chance as in the previous over he clipped one to short mid wicket which was being patrolled elegantly by selector. As the ball sailed to him of a lowish middle, it appeared that the selector hadn’t seen it and didn’t move is hands at all. Instead the ball proceeded without interruption to thud between the selectors breasts, with a noise like dropping a bag of sugar onto a drum. ( I say breast but as the selector has more bones than a KFC family bucket, I am being unfair as the skipper is built more like kate moss than Katie price) Cue much chuckling and banter and selector pulling up his top to reveal his new 3rd nipple.
That got them to 175 for 6 and with dips in determined mood. Freckingham was blasted away by broughts and sharma tried backing up a bit to far and as dips drove the ledge down the wicket, the ledge picked up the drive and ran out sharma who was gambling on it beating the ledge, who fortunately hadn’t eaten too much quiche at tea and reacted swiftly. So at 180 for 8, Dips decided that it was too risky to keep going for the win and shut up shop with Gamble doing likewise at the other end. They finished on 183, giving the selector 17 points and an even more crucial game next week against table toppers Harborough.
A very disciplined bowling performance with just 6 wides and a good team performance with the exception of greg who just occupied a space in the changing room. Just like him, we will all be watching to see how he gets on for Leicestershire this week, or actually pulling out our own eyelashes with tweezers which is more preferable.
Same time next week and remember guy’s violence is not the solution to having respect for your captain.
Havimg been asked to skipper the Sunday side due to Will being asked to be Godfather for some unfortunate soul from Norwich, and Illo being laid low by a bad back, there was a spring in my step as i acquainted myself with some new and very welcome old friends before our inauguaral game against Lubehnham CC.....in my extensive brief from Will he advised me that he thought they were a "typical Sunday side", which is not easy to categorise because KCC most definately are not "typical".....usually not of anything of the quality cricket variety anyway! Having won the toss i toyed with the idea of fielding for 3 hours in the sweltering heat and batsmens paradise that abbo had prepared...(not seriously obviously but it was worth saying i did to wind ken pounds up!), but eventually sobered up and elected to bat. At this juncture i should point out that the team had a distinct family feel to it, with the slimmer Pounds (J), joining his vocal father (K) for a seasonal debut......also very welcome was the return of Malc and Dave King, all of which indicated a stronger, if more incestuous look to our line up.......its also worth mentioning that the pre requisite of selection being helped if you could find a family member to play had scuppered the Chairman's chances as apparantly Taylor was busy..and the brothers Grim have been as rarely seen at KCC this season as Lord Lucan riding across the outfield on Shergar. On to the game and the family affair stared with the Pounds' opening up and after a few air shots JP was soon demonstrating that batting is like riding a bike...you never forget but you may well need stabilisers to regain your confidence. As the boundaries started to flow Father Ken got into his stride with successive boundaries before his inexperience bought his downfall going for a third and he was caught behind.....you have to hope that as he matures he will learn the art of patience. However as you will see later this wasnt the end of KPs contribution to the innings or indeed the match so read on! That bought young Ghumers to the crease, having been demoted down the order by the new skipper for his appalling showing in the last 2 sunday games where he had scored successive unbeaten hundreds....that just isnt cricket and once again we would hope that he would learn quickly to engineer an early dismissal in an embarrassing style in order that he fits in with his new sunday team mates!....however in spite of his demotion Ram played very well again and was very restrained whilst JP reaped carnage at the other end....the skipper soon found himself in the strange situation of looking at the scoreboard and working out how he could contain the score to maintain the spirit of cricket rather than work out where the next run is coming from which is usual.......luckily the drinks break came and was expertly delivered by young Harry Pounds (12th Man).....who having enquired whether he should take his dad a lager decided to take out the regulation orange and blackcurrent.....this gave the skip a chance to move away from the scorebox where he had been since 10am in the morning and get message out to JOP that i would look to retire him on 75.....there was a look of what i took to be relief on his face until i was advised that he was suffering from blurred vision when he ran (which to be fair wasnt very often!)...he asked whether this was normal and the only answer that i can print is that Mrs Pounds counselled that he may be slightly larger than the last time he played (or did any exercise!).......soon after drinks JP managed to get himself out for a well earned 72 and staggered back to the pavillion to again be greeted by HP with the phrase "now shall i get you a lager?" JPs demise bought Badri to the crease but nothing noteworthy happened and he got out! Then enter the gladiator that is Malc King...striding purposefully (if wheezily) to the crease.......he soon got "back on the bike", but as with JP he too needed stabilisers as his calf soon gave up due to the sheer pressure placed upon it by Malc clearly having a diet whereby he feasted in the manner of his surname......at this point the umpire called for a runner....and given the skippers adherance to all things compliance and the need for any runner having to have already batted i realised that of the 3 batters who had got so far 2 were umpiring, leaving me with no option other than to call for ken Pounds to re pad up as a runner for Malc.....before i go on i better point out that i retired young Ghumers on 55 having played beautifully but he needed to understand that in poker terms a pair of kings is worth more than another Ghuman hundred...so out came David King....there was a brief moment of sublime batting by father and son before Dave got out and ken decided that there was only room for him at the top of the bill and he would once again assume centre stage....calling for a slow single Pounds ran up the artificial wicket and assaulted the opposition Mid on and collapsed in a heap still short of Malc's ground... he was duly given out by umpire JP but to their credit the oppo skipper managed to stop laughing long enough to recall him to the wicket...great sportsmanship but moreover comedy gold! Malc proceeded to move to 50 before i retired him also in order to prevent Ken doing any more damage....Malc got a tremendous ovation when he came back to the pavilion and it was great to have him back amongst his many friends at KCC.....one word of caution though...if you though KP was finished there...think on....wait til we start bowling for another instalment! The KCC innings finally ended with us on 246-7 and the Lubenham boys left the field looking like we did a few weeks back at Mowsley!! The skipper led his troops on to field after tea ready to watch the ball sail to all parts of the ground as is the norm.....oopening up with dave King from the House of Pain End imagine the surprise when twice in his over Jamie T clung on to 2 stunners at point...the second one "breaking my collar bone", before he got his hand up to take the ball from its ample cushion that is Jamies chest.....the skip then axed Dave from the attack for being too good and he finished his spell with figures of one over,2 for 2....that will teach him1!! We proceeded to take wickets pretty regularly and i removed bowlers from the attack as they did so to maintain a transparency around the standards of mediocrity that are required on a sunday....however, you couldnt keep ken down for long and having declined to bowl earlier on the grounds of "if you bring me on too early its not fair on the opposition and the game will be over", i saw through his motive of protecting his bowling figures and brought him on at the Pylon End.....during his second over the batsmen straight drove him, and ken refused to do the normal thing and field with his hands and decided to flick the ball with his foot....unfortunately it sped into his eyelid and cut him!!...cue Badri (who is a surgeon apparantly), advising that he needed butterfly stitches....but only after a long delay whilst Mr King Senior (who had gone off for a pee!), searched the whole dressing room for th illuminous orange medical bag which "was nowhere to be seen" (idiot!)....anyway Badri applied said stitches and declared ken fit to continue....only for the stitches to fall off as soon as ken moved....armed with his cut as a badge of honour ken proceeded to rip through what was left of the visitors batting before jamie took the final wicket having previously had a lengthy chat advising the visitors umpire that he didnt know the no ball rule! lubenham all out for about 140...i say "about" because there lads had got carried away with having an electronic scorboard at their disposal but its safe to say that they didnt get close So a comfortable victory for the new skipper, who now departs to his greek hideaway to recharge the batteries...a good afternoon with many highlights and whilst we may have displayed more cricketing ability than has been the norm...the antics of one K Pounds leave no one who was there in any doubt that this was Sunday cricket at its finest.
So after a return to winning ways on Saturday, the league cup semi final would mean a trip to the cemetery, or Broomleys as its otherwise known. Beautiful picturesque views of flowers and gravestones in the riveria of north Leicestershire.
Team news would see Mr Kibworth Greg Smith excluded from the team, not sure if that’s for regulatory reasons or he couldn’t face playing 2 games for Kibworth in a weekend. Matt (TFC) Holyland was unchanged, Jacko the fielding Genuis was fortunately doing a car boot sale. For a man who looks like he dresses daily from the leftovers of a car boot sale, this must have been like the London Fashion show for the upholder of Leicestershire law and order. Aamir would be rested from scoring duties as he would be serving community service, weeding Dean Johnson’s garden and would be replaced by Laura “ten Pens” Thompson.
Broomley’s changing rooms are tighter than simmos shorts, so having 2 enormous craniums packed into it would only make it worse. Craven would be joined by the king of the gargantuan hees, Joey Cuthbert. Not only did we have 2 basket ball heads, but also 2 of the worst examples of bleached hair seen since the mid 80’s. Rumours that Burty and Cuth chew each others hair rather than have it cut professionally are yet to be confirmed but would seem likely.
FK or PH (Pot Hunter) made his seasonal debut on a Sunday. Fido would avoid dismantling the national grid and bringing the might of Microsoft to it’s knees by playing for the under 15’s Final at fleckney road, so FK could watch an hour of the game with selector, Burty and broughts before heading off without the stresses of an unruly stroppy teenager. The game meant we would be deprived of the services of the fruit powered run machine Aadil. The teenage run harvester would be skippering the boys to a magnificent victory on home soil, but would make the journey to Broomleys later on to support his teammates. Greg had pestered Aadil all morning to get a lift so he could come over, but unfortunently Aadil had no room in the car and Greg had tried for hours to get a taxi to the game, so had to resort to contstant calls to the lads to keep him in the loop. With Aadil double booked, Rosco would return to cup action. Fueled by a pack lunch box that was as big as craven’s lunchbox, the allrounder completed the semi final team, looking to book their place in the August 15th Showdown at Harboroughs Fairfield road ground against other semi finallists lutterworth.
The journey to Broomleys was reasonably tame, FK, Matty and ten pens would take the following selector and broughts on an intricately weaved route through the wilderness towards the M1 and when reaching the outskirts of bardon, picked up the trail of the ledge in the darkened windowed spiro carrier. With ledge and pedro having missed the last 8 years of trips to broomleys due to their 1st division status, knowledge of the grounds location was pretty rusty. As we trundled along the lanes like visiting kerbcrawlers looking for the turning, the selector spied a hot pant cladded blonde teetering in high heels walking along the pavement on our side of the road. Having recently returned from the Football ads cricket tour, selector still possessed an element of white van man (sorry Wilko I don’t mean you!!) and took the opportunity to peep his horn at the young broomleys talent ahead. A bit like sticking your fingers up at a carload of skinheads only to be stopped by a red traffic light 100 yards down the road, the selector didn’t bank on a directional error by ledge at the front of the convoy. So as we pulled in and discussed the best route and slowly started the u-turn. This co-incided by the blonde walking past the selectors car and a red faced driver trying not to make eye contact. Its probably a good job he didn’t make eye contact as the hot pants could barely contain what turned out to be a sizeable rear and the legs had more orange peel than the half time left overs at a football match. Not exactly daisy duke, but hey its north Leicester!!!
Anyway, we found the turn off and started the preparations. A game of old uns vs young un’s at football is becoming increasingly difficult to select. Clearly FK and and ledge are on the same team and now on the wrong side of 30, selector is a sure inclusion. Broughts at the tender age of 26 (I think) joins the veterans and then the earl/mid 20’s crew contains Badger and POTS and Fabes. After that it’s the bumfluffers who are all barely potty trained.
Experience as always is hard to beat and so we beat them. Pace and fitness are nothing compared to class and vision and a cultured left foot. Well so the ledge said so it must be true.
Changing room news would see the swede forget his trousers and so broughts would come to his rescue with his spare pair. Those eagled eye’d among you would probably say that the 2 players differ physically. 1 is lean wiry, hairy and gangly and the other one is Cuth.
So Joey would field later in the day in his new white leggings.
The selector lost the toss and would have batted and they asked us to bat anyway, so all good. KCC’s own Bow and Luke Duke opened the batting agin (yes Burty you get to open the bowling and batting again, we will just field and pay our match fees!)
The second largest head in the team was again well into the 5th over before he troubled ten pens. Laura luckily had a spare pen following blunting the dot/no score pen in the craven column. Thankfully she wasn’t at Sileby as an urgent order from staples would have had to be placed for the dot gathering opener.
A decent opening spell kept the runs down, burty looked the more composed of the 2, before being sawn off LBW while well down the track. When I say down the track, think how far down selector is before he normally gets stumped. Another shocker to add to the list so far. This meant selector would hopefully carry his good Saturday form into cup action, which he duly did. Badger cut, carved, sliced, slammed and hacked his way to 50, seeing off the openers. Selector nudged and nurdled, poked and prodded, dabbed and dibbled and we were looking very comfortable.
Tucked and well hidden beneath the selectors shirt was his cape and so far it hadn’t come out, until we were well past 150. Unseen by the spectators, he unravelled his flowing cape and he would once again assume his alter ego “captain charge down the track and give yet another keeper an easy stumping so that FK has to work even harder to keep pace at the top of the wickets by a keeper table” He did it in true style and as he spun round, managed to incorporate his job back to the pavilion. POTS would have his pads on and in the past few weeks has found league runs harder than cup runs, so we needed a back to best POTS, which is exactly what we got. The badger looked a like one of those kids you see lost in a supermarket, with the tannoy announcing a small boy has lost his mummy and could the mother make their way to customer service, and then is re-united with his mummy and a huge smile of joy and happiness overwhelms them. Yes the badger would bat with his life partner POTS. So far Burty has refused badger requests to bat with a POTS mask, to make him feel at ease.
The pair batted superbly and the overs counted down as the runs mounted up. Selector was becoming increasingly agitated as the oppo scorer was miles behind ten pens and at the end of each over he was always on the wrong over, had more wickets than had gone down or the score was completely different. Selector already has OCD and this only assisted in making him worse. Rather than take it out as captain on the offending scorer, he decided to grumble each over at poor broughts and make him take it up with their scorer, despite the fact broughts was already doing it.
FK was dispatched to put on his pads as with 10 overs to go, a fat bloke might be needed to swing from his bottom. Fabes due in next is stylish but slower than an asthmatic ant carrying some heavy shopping. In the end neither techniques were needed as The badger reached his century with a flat batted six, which landed 250 yards away from where he was aiming it. Pots played superbly and at close both were unbreaten, with POTS 3 away from a fine half century and 246 on the board at an impressive 6.1 per over.
Because it’s his bat and ball, Burty got to open the bowling again!, with broughts running up cemetery slope. Both bowled very well, with burty swinging them away from the bat. Burty would eventually get 4 wickets with some really good length swing bowling, with a couple of LBW’s and some catches. The KCC were superb in the field and all round there were no errors (mainly because jacko wasn’t playing) FK stood up to matty and Burty and we squeezed big pressure. The one person who found the pressure too much to cope with, was the opposition skipper. In the early part of our innings he was complaining bitterly about the scoring rate. At 40 odd for 3, he decided the best way to improve his teams chances would be to take some quick singles. The 3 quick singles he took were fine for him, but not for his 3 batting partners who he managed to run out by miles, muttering “there was 1 there” after each dismissal. To put it into context even Rikesh wouldn’t have been in the picture on a slow motion replay. So it was 50 odd 6 and with ledge tieing them down at one end, Matty bowling good areas at the other, the game had only one outcome and it was a question of when we could get them out. POTS bowled well and at the end of the innings it would be Joey and Burty who would conclude proceedings. Good return to the 1st team for Joey, who bowled very well for a man displaying a camel toe in his spray on trousers.
A solid win with Broomleys all out for 90 odd. Messages of congratulations and an offer to buy the team a jug from Greg littered our phones. Peeley sold 6 copies of the Big issue to passers by.
A splendid weekend and one which will hopefully boost the confidence going into the Loughborough game.
Just like the selector being disorganised and calm and relaxed, or FK arriving on time or the badger having no interest in his own batting statistics over the last 7 years, the unusual part about this weeks reports, is the ability to discuss not just 1 win but 2.
The team news for Saturdays clash against Sileby would see Matt Holyland replace the Cricket touring catalyst. For all those previous tourists out there, you know how a few well engineered games of cricket are the cornerstone of what is basically a travelling army of drinkers, using the cricket to have something to take the mickey out of each other for and generate fines and to have storoes to tell everyuone for years to come and to have t-shirts dating back to the early 2000’s. Not on a medbourne c.c tour. This involves 8 blokes playing golf for a week, with not a pair of whites in sight, unless you count the catalysts poulteresque golfing attire.
Sileby were without the service of former kcc man Naik still in Glamorgan with the County. Kibworth retained the services of unfancied Greg Smith, who was desperate to play for the club and really get stuck in. Greg had been texting his kcc clubmates all day on Sunday, as he was gagging to find out of they had got through in the cup semi. Greg was gutted to not be able to be there, so kept in touch all day via text.
Anyway, back to Saturday. It was a warm muggy day as the boys arrived at sileby Of course without FK. This weeks excuse for being late involved Fido. Well it would as he is the cause of most of FK’s traumas. The second best keeper in the family decided that on waking up, he would get on with some household chores and contribute to helping around the house as all he had done all week was be taken to cricket matches and played golf, all funded by his mother. Only fair he decided that in return he would pitch in before sticking out his hand for his match fees, demanding a packed lunch and then leaving the house. What he actually did was lie in his bed all morning on his mothers laptop, in his defence “I was on you tube”. But what he managed to do was to crash all the internal house wireless network settings, throwing the house system back 10 years. FK was summoned to repair the damage and after re-installing everything at least once, reset the matthew families electronic communication with the outside world. During this time, fido had cleared off to cricket, leaving carnage behind him as reg’s and a stressed FK to try and get over to sileby with 23 miles in his tank and needing a cash machine. Don’t worry Fido, let us know when the earth stops revolving around you! (fatherly rant over!)
The sileby track looked as green as Broughts normally does on a Sunday morning and hopefully Selector would win the toss and field. He didn’t win but Sileby elected to bat, giving the kcc boys the chance to have first digs on a green one. It would be the first outing for the new scorer, who was serving the first week of a nelson Mandela like sentence. Casually dressed in what most people would go out nightclubbing in, the colonel looked far to smart to be sitting inside a scorebox.
Without the colonel, it would be “It’s my bat and ball and I’m opening the bowling and batting” Burton who would take the new ball with a clean shaven broughts. Opening up for Sileby were former 5 game kcc wonder Javed and Gillett Gillett looked good early on and javed less patient than his 16 ball innings would suggest. He played and missed several from each end and if he did connect, found the livewire POTS each time. Javed would look to drive the bleached headed youth only to inside edge and play on. Perhaps there was something in the air at Sileby, but it was a strange Sunday friendly like atmosphere that overcame both sides. The usual intesnsity wasn’t there as especially FK was looking forward all week to Luke Gale playing in the Sileby ranks to keep him fired up. This wasn’t to be the case and no hate figure for the afternoon meant we had to have someone to dislike. It was an easy replacement we could pick on jacko, who would probably annoy at least the bowlers with some shocking fielding. He wouldn’t disapoint!.
The ledge was keen that discipline and strength of character be at the forefront of the days proceedings and a professional approach to the invigilators of truth and justice be done. FK warmly greeted both umpires Steve Horner and mel Smith who he has known from his many years on the circuit and surely that would cement the respect required for the officials. Of course it would, until jacko when asked to provide the opening bowlers name would change the mood instantly and get a serious glare from the ledge and few muttered expletives from 9 others. The bowler in question was actuallt Tom Burton and not Drew Peacock as advised by Jacko. I will let you lot work it out. Think “ a woman walked into the store one day and asked me for limp poultry… Limp Poultry, from the store! Limp Poultry she wanted …………
Anyway, Aadil had played 23 games already during the week scoring probably another 400 runs, Greg was tired after a whole week thinking about himself, FK and Selector were retail magnates in a Peter Jones & Duncan Bannatyne stylie, Spiro had been earmarked as the CEO of Leicestershire and the badger was looking weary having been trawling through 25 years of statistics to prove himself as the most prolific batsman ever to grace the premier league in the county, only to be told that had play cricket been live when the prem/1st division was in place, Spiro would have had more wickets than the badger had scored runs. Badger returned to his set to revisit his claim, to return with. “ well I have the highest average of any batsman called matthew with a 56” head circumference who has played for earl shilton, hinckley and Kibworth.” A feat never to be repeated I am sure.
Despite looking like he couldn’t stop a beach ball in a narrow corridor, jacko bowled really quite well. When I say bowl, I mean if you include his throwing and highly illegal action as legitimate bowling.
He would quickly remove number 3 Torr caught by POTS and keeper wootton who would block 26 balls for 4 runs before hitting 2 boundaries. He would fall LBW to jacko, to bring county man and colleague of Greg, Liam Kinch to the crease. Kinch’s previous 3 meetings with KCC had retuned 3 consecutives ducks and he would gain his 4th in a row, by trying to smash jacko through cover, to take a flying outside edge, taken magnificently by the badger at 1st slip. I would like to say it was a regulation catch, but in truth it was a hell of a take by the titanic headed former Hinckley self statistician. This would leave Sileby at 76 for 4 with Gillet still there on 43 and looking more comfortable by the over. Moore would add 30 odd with Gillet before the ledge intervened with one taken by POTS and the score 109 for 5. We needed to really drive the advantage home and what you need is to take every chance presented to you. Unless you are jacko and a simple pull shot down you neck on the boundary is made to look difficult as you move backwards instead of forward. On realising his error of judgment, jacko dived forward and belly flopped onto the turf, palming the ball onto the floor. Cue 10 people cursing the law enforcing bumpkin.
Captain Khan would become Stringy’s 2nd of the day in a good high catch held by Broughts and Micky Ruddle would be fooled by jackos seemingly nonchalant trot to retrieve a sweep and turned for what looked like a simple 3rd, only for jacko to put on the blue lights and sprint, collect the ball and wang it into the bowlers end to run him out by yards. A career spent making up false evidence and deceiving members of the public were put to good use as by going undercover for most of the game as a rubbish fielder, he fooled the opposition into thinking he was indeed some sort of joke fielder, hidden on the boundary out of the way, which is all true. It was an excellent bit of cricket to be honest. That was 172 for 7, with gillett passing a classy ton and then the returning broughts getting an edge taken by FK and a couple of late blows and Sileby closed on 186 for 8.
Tea as always features high on the agenda and the unusual sight of 2 tea men as opposed to tea ladies, stunned the KCC boys. The tea was immense and after FK completed his 5th Mini Bakewell tart, we retired to the viewing area to watch the most popular duet since torville & dean take to field once more.
The badger busied himself and was ready and waiting for Burty for about 15 minutes before play re-started. Managing to chat no doubt to the umpires about how many injustices he has suffered so far and how he is most definitely “a walker”.
It would be an impressive opening bowling attack that would restrict the badger to the 6th over before he would open his account. Despite a few swings of the willow which would put a ninja swordsman or drug crazed wii console player to shame. The badger as always likes to play “in the V”. Not the V that we all were taught as junior cricketers, but the badger version which is where you aim the front foot cover drive effortlessly past fine leg. You get the picture!
The partner ship would blossom like young love and would take us to halfway score sort of at 90, before the scary hair was bowled by Gillett. 22 runs later Craven would reach his half century, despite having been out ages before on one which he clearly nicked to slip and then claimed was a bump ball. I hope guilt consumes the badger and he writes a personal letter of apology to sileby asking for forgivness, for what can only be described as blatant cheating which needs to be stamped out of the game.
Greg batted for greg with great style, stopping between overs to think about himself and how to avoid further games for Kibworth. 5 x 4’s and an effortless 6 would see him take on his county colleague kinch, with bragging rights at stake. Kinch would find a 4th consecutive zero tough to brag about but surely the scalp of Greg Smith would be a prized one.
The selector was resisting his usual Saturday tango down the track followed by stumping. (he would save that for Sunday!) to bat sensibly. He continued to remove the signatures on the bat with some fine strokeplay and when Greg was caught behind, would partner Aadil “ seeing it like a watermelon “ Ali and the pair would bat immaculately and risk free to avoid the newly promoted number 8 FK from padding up.
After 40 overs the game was ours and a much needed morale boosting win secured. Burty completed his 13th game without a shower, FK shaved a winning Merv Smith moustache during the batting innings and the lads looked forward to a cup duel the following day.
Back to winning ways. Sorry must sign off now, I have a few missed calls and texts from greg asking me how we got on yesterday
The sweet taste of victory. Not quite a 5 star Egon Ronay premier restaurant taste, more a nice hostelry and good wine sort of occasion as the Sunday XI over powered Newbold Verdon.
A strong looking top three promised much, perhaps too much, so the Mighty Boosh did the decent thing and only notched up 18 before departing the scene. That left the field clear for Ram Ghuman (101*) and Rickesh Patel (48) to run the opposition ragged, scoring at a run a ball. Unfortunately the rest of the line up didn't deliver. Badri was run out for his inaugural Kibworth duck, Siraj and Lee Butler holed out whilst attempting to go big and then the skipper (whilst admittedly playing a poor shot) had his flabber well and truly gasted to fall to a one handed catch at Mid Off with his score on 8. Such things are surely illegal on a Sunday.
However the real battle in the home line up came with numbers 9, 10 and 11 all vying for the Watership Down sponsored Stuck in the Headlights award. Pete Moran played some authentic looking defensive shots, nicking a couple of an outside edge before departing. James' Tommy' Cooper even hit a four before being castled and Jamie Thompson managed 7 not out with a legside boundary and a nice drive down the ground. Kibworth had finished on 201 all out.
Sunday, as previously noted, is where sometimes ordinary cricketers do extraordinary things, or at least injure themselves in the attempt. For the second week running the skipper emerged from the pavilion wearing pads and gloves despite not being able to walk for three days from his previous attempt. The initial signs were not good as he failed to pick up a full bunger from Jamie Thompson which flew past him for four byes but the rest of the display, perhaps, reached the murky levels of mediocre.
It soon became apparent that a rare victory was on the cards as wickets fell at regular intervals. Most bowlers looking dangerous on a wicket which was perhaps a little slow but still a good one to bat on.
The Newbold number 11 was of the Junior variety. He had bowled well and now it was time for him to have a bat. Boosh on the other hand had been given the nod from the skipper for some of his medium pace tripe and the fact the opponent was more Tweenies than Test match didn't deter the newly crowned Fourth Team supremo. One delivery was all it took, back of a length, top edge and pouched by the Skipper. Candyfloss well and truly blown in the face and no remorse shown. Anyone seen the Welfare Officer?
So a win by 80 runs it was. The batting borrowed from a higher level built up enough runs to allow the more seasoned players a chance to shine. Or, in the case of one player who shall not been name, the chance to break wind copiously for over two hours in the slips.
Team changes from the previous weeks defeat to Kegworth would see Dips on stag do duty, Cobb unavailable due to ankle injury, broughts unavailable, Clarkey getting some batting in the 2’s and the seasonal debut from the catalyst and a returning chuckle 1.
It’s now cheaper to get a speeding fine trying to get to the game on time as opposed to actually paying the new increased late fine. I exaggerate but it’s now £4!. Chuckle decided that as he was verging on late, if he just made it into the dressing room as 12, he would not be fined. So he was in the changing room with a carrier bag and no kit but made a case for abiding by the rules. He would pay £4 as the selector wasn’t having it.
The catalyst was looking forward to sweets, but forgot that broughts wasn’t playing and so a quick trip to the spar would be in order and a selection of haribo bags returned.
With rain about and some warm up Frisbee action, Stoughton won the toss and asked the Kcc boys to bat first. Always difficult if rain around and how to pace the first 25 overs and with a short shower before the game started, we were left with a 48 over a side match.
Stoughton after a difficult start had pulled some good form together and with kcc looking to bounce back, it was set to be a decent game. The Stoughton opening attack was felt to be one of the strongest, with County Duo Wells and Wyatt on a hard and quickish track. Indeed it would take the badger 125 balls to eventually get off the mark. (it was actually about 30but it felt like 3 figures!) To be fair to badge, it was doing all sorts and Burty also found it tough going. Some superb seam bowling with movement both ways kept the runs down. Having got off the mark, the badger was struck down and sawn off for an aledged nick behind. The red mark on his thigh pad was testimony to the fact that actually on this occasion, justice hadn’t been done and the unlucky badger after a wait of 12 minutes, had to walk back to the dressing room and drop some f bombs. Chuckle despite trying to get himself below 4 in the batting order, was made to bat at 3 by selector. With county coach Tim Boon watching from the balcony, chuckle would hope to impress after his 80 odd against Pakistan earlier in the week having run out chuckle 2 by a street.
He indeed looked like he was in the zone and partnered stringy well as they began to build a partnership against the still impressive opening attack. Stringy however was picked up by scully off wells and the selector with his autograph bat and on the back of his Sunday 50, was in at 4. Selector would enjoy batting with chuckle as it gave him the opportunity to keep an eye on him and stop him doing anything silly, like charging down the wicket first ball after lunch and getting stumped, which would be a ridiculous and irresponsible way to perish having created a decent platform. So after drinks were taken, the selector shimmied down the track to the first ball and was stumped/run out. For once chuckle would have something on the selector. On the balcony FK would be miffed as by becoming a stumping victim, FK’s aim of finishing as the keeper with most victims in the prem would take a beating as overseas keeper fullerton-smith would take 3 during the game, with just 1 for FK. Having impressed with his composure the previous week, Aadil was again given the opportunity to show just why he has nailed 1000 runs already, just half way through the season. Having been 80 off for 2, we were now 3 down at the halfway stage. And the bowling change would see pace off with spinner Sykes and the medium pace of franklin. Chuckle perhaps relaxed at the change in bowling and muffed a catch to the eccentric Zain Mir off franklin. 80 odd for 4 and wobble avoidance was needed to set a decent total. Like a set of wobbly jellies, balancing 1 legged on a wobbly thing, stacked on a couple of additional wobbly bits, we wobbled. POTS would be bowled by franklin, jacko missed a straight one LBW to franklin AND Aamir would be given out lbw to one he thought as he had a red mark at the top of his thigh, would probably have not been out, but sometimes it doesn’t go your way, so he took it on the chin and with a knowing smile, trotted back to the pavilion. For legal reasons that’s what happened ok!!. Actually he thought himself jolly unlucky and that the umpire perhaps made an error of judgement in this instance.
So with Aadil grinding out runs at the other end, the catalyst would look to add momentum and not get bogged down as openers wyatt and wells would return to try and wrap up the tail. At 90 odd for 7 a fair bet would be that 150 was some way off, but a wager was soon to take place. The catalyst cut one to former kcc man and now super mario impersonator gaggs and at 90ish for 8, the ledge would look to add some experience in the middle with Ad’s. Wells provided some hostile bowling with the ledge fending one off the chest only to be taken by the keeper and it looked like game over under 100 all out. FK waddled to the crease and with the selector assured of an easy £30 from chuckle who bet him a £1 at 30-1 that we would get 150+, the selector snapped his hand off as perhaps Aadil would survive, but could he farm the strike for 10 overs and keep the podgy gloveman out the way.
With FK’s bat having been used all week by Burty, some of the blonde bombshell’s batting talent had rubbed off onto the willow and FK stroked a majstic off drive from wells and another off the legs. Being a nice chap he refused to go with his colleagues suggestion and bounce the chubster but after an FK cut for 4, he had had enough, as had Wyatt from the other end who didn’t wait long before clonking the helmetless swede of the porky number 11. The glancing blow seemed to make FK more determined and after straightening his cap, crunched the next ball through the covers for 4. FK would receive a few more short ones, but by then was able to swivel his ample weight out of harms way.
At the other end, Aadil was heeding FK advice to use up all the overs and not give them anything and to just focu on putting away the bad ball and see what we could scramble in the remaining overs. The balcony was getting more animated, especially Chuckle who was extremely vocal in his support of the flourishing partnership. 2 things were unusual about this, 1) chuckle normally doesn’t care if he isn’t batting and 2) chuckle normally doesn’t care if he isn’t batting.
Aadil was demonstrating great patience and technique to keep out Wells and Wyatt and as the overs ran down , the duo opened up in the final over. A dodgy hoik from FK got us over 150 and with Chuckle bellowing support from the balcony, you could have been mistaken that a cockspuresque victory had occurred. What actually happened is that by reaching 150, chuckle had won £30 from selector, who indeed post game honoured the bet and then paid the chairman for his 100 club with it.
With 3 balls left, FK holed out with Aadil unbeaten on a mature 21 and FK out for 40 and we had reached 152 somehow.
All we needed was a slice of fortune and some good bowling and who knows what could happen. With the catalyst taking the new ball with the colonel it would prove to be the start of an impressive spell of bowling from the wood chiseler and umpire botherer. Driver bowled a heavy ball and FK and Chuckle would move back noticeably as the lively pace and back of a length bowling would account for opener norwell. Both bowled very good areas and overseas Fullerton smith was fortunate enough not to get a nick on a number that passed the bat. The selector tried for spin to make the breakthrough and it would be jacko picking up the wicket of scully and spiro getting overseas man with the catch of the season (so far) held by jacko at square leg. A hard hit clip of the legs looked a certain boundary but somehow jacko defied gravity and held on to a stunning 1 handed catch to his right in mid air. Its those sort of moments that turn games and this did. Yates back at Stoughton having done nothing at langtons was packed off by the colonel with chuckle taking a decent slip catch.With a bit of self belief back in the ranks selector saw the opportunity to bring back the catalysts and aamir. With his back up, drives banged the ball around in awkward areas and muscled it through wuth a lifeter catching the glove and FK taking one down legside. Wells looked classy with the bat and a large six was followed by some good strokeplay and it was an inswinger which trapped him infront LBW. The colonel was keeping things tight at the other end and helping build pressure as another wicket for driver as a nasty bouncer had Gaggs in trouble and the top edge taken by chuckle running back at 1st slip. Tango spinner Sykes is also no mug with the bat as he proved in the first kleague encounter and he was being coached by Zain Mir. Anyone watching Zain bat, would probably suggest that dishing out batting advice wouldn’t be his strong point, but he proved to be an awkward customer and despite playing and missing a fair bit, he was well up for it. The catalyst knocked the Kirby like sykes off stump out the ground followed shortly after by getting a second LBW as gangly paceman and FK head bruiser Wyatt couldn’t get his legs out the way and it was 9 down and 4 needed in the last over.
An excellent spell of bowling from driver yielded 6 wickets for 46 in his 14 overs and if you could have anyone bowling with the pressure on in the last over it would be the ledge. The first 3 balls either went straight into FK’s gloves or found a fielder and it looked with the field spread that a boundary was out of reach of young mir. The pressure didn’t seem to bother him and like his kcc playing relation Imran, he didn’t seem to be fussed with goings on. The 4th ball was a good ball that with a swing of the bat, managed to club in the gap between bowler and mid on at pace out of the middle of the bat and over the ropes. A very good game to watch for spectators and a well fought victory in the end for Stoughton who continued to go for the win to their credit and credit to Zain for his Zany batting style and gutsy finish.
The batting will still keep the selector awake at night as will some of the decisions that have gone against us so far. I know it tends to even itself out in a season, but so far it’s just not been going our way on decisions. The penultimate over from the colonel saw a pretty adjacent LBW turned down and was probably the best shout of the day as franklin played from the crease and it hit him on the kneeroll infront of middle and leg which would have been the difference between 7points and 23 points. Varied results elsewhere mean its all up for grabs still and the title could go 1 of 5 ways.
Still spilt milk and all that. A back to back weekend to come with cup semi final away at broomleys on Sunday and a bounce back trip away to sileby on Saturday.
If you can get down to Ivanhoe on Friday to cheer on the under 17’s in their cup game it would be goot to have some away fans and look forward to the winning under 15’s side beating Wellingborough at home this Sunday 11am start in their aim of national glory.
FK in now condones or endorses betting and gambling on the results of sporting fixtures and no member of the team has at any stage taken money to influence the outcome of a game or element thereof. Although I was given a leather jacket for some info on Abbo’s track for this Saturday?
Sometimes it just doesn’t happen. The options are hours of navel gazing and the blue fluff that lies within, sometimes the “hairdryer” treatment is used, others opt for a bit of team bonding and a few beers or hours of practice. In the wash up, Lutterworth last week bowled better lines with greater discipline and had 1 batsman who ground out a gritty ton for others to chip in around. Whilst this weeks, much like last weeks report will be devoid of any humour, it was good to hear news from terminal 5 EMA (Kegworth), of club results at home and away, in particular the return of resident Golf pro Tom “the catalyst” Driver to cricketing form. Unlike his wayward hacks from the tee, the burly lefthander grabbed an impressive 7 wicket haul, to ensure early beers, or perhaps time for a cheeky 9 holes.
Wilko, on the verge of a call up for the Bangladesh 1 dayer due to metatarsal issues, had to make do with further promotion to the 2nd team. Kibworths own cable fiddler had impressed his fellow selectors and continued his move through the ranks. As the Fleckney Raod Cricket correspondent types, he must surely include a magnificent 100 on the subbuteo sized pitch that is Billesdon in the cup duel yesterday.
Anyway back to business. This weekends selectorial challenges would ensue and the downward shuffle and frantic stealng and replacing of players as the chuckle brothers would be requested to rest following a busy week of Foxes based action in various guises. That meant the retention of Spiro, who is a proper all rounder, and greg is a one trick pony with a pretty ordinary trick anyway, and Dips who is only able to ride a pony and not a large horse.
The Scarecrow would be resting his knee and hip, allowing FK to complete a full half season under the selector (insert own gag here………) The ledge woud be celebrating his Birthday, a fact that the badger Duet of FK and The Badger were not aware of. (Bad Badgers!) Back to Badger school for you two!!!
On what looked like a perfect deck to land an Airbus or Boeing 737, oppo skipper and FK’s favourite player Ashcroft won the toss and fancied a bat. It looked to be a solid decision as ball came on nicely and opener Moorhouse clipped through midwicket and was also fortunate to find the outide edge several times through the 3rd man regions as we pushed for wickets.
Both Broughts and the Colonel bowled well and tightly. Opener savige went for a flourishing drive to catch the outside edge and a flaying badger at 2nd slip held on to a stunning grab where 3rd slip would have been, low to his right one handed. A real beauty from the former Hinckley botherer. Brother of captain Ashcroft was in at 3 and would bat through the rest of the innings for 54. despite getting some good humoured banter from the kcc boy’s, it would prove to be a key knock as others folded in the middle order around him (or he ran them out!)
Moorhouse continued to play his shots and with “RICK Flare” Burton into the attack to rest the colonel he would bowl good lines with an occasional short one well put away. On the verge of being taken out the attack, stringfellow bowled a nice away swinger which morrhouse drove at hard, taking the outside edge, snaffled stunningly by FK an inch above the deck with one hand. (No artistic license has been used in the re-telling of this incident –honest) The scale bothering 3rd choicer clung gratefully on to see moorhouse depart for 50.
The wicket earnt jimmy saville another few overs, partnered at the other end by Rosco. What Ross brings to the team in terms of dedication to fitness and energy and a heavy ball, was not matched this week by him bringing a)his fit bird b)his fit birds older sister c) Fit mother of aforementioned sisters. Dissapointment all round, although Rosco bustled in and beat the bat, it would be George Micheal Burton who would again require the services of an alert FK, to take a snick infront of the badger at 2nd slip to really open up the middle order by removing allruonder Reed. No both FK and broughts can be deemed as fairly hairy individuals, but Reed however was in the Champions league of chest hair. Either he had come straight from a star wars themed fancy dress party and left his Chewbacca suit on under his kit, or the only parts of his body that he shaved were his face and palms of his hands. FK who mis normally closer to the opposing batsmen for logistical reasons only, is usually quick to spot these things. However it would be the keen eye of the selector from midwicket who would walk past fk at the end of the over to point out the interesting chest foliage. This again is not an exaggeration for comedic value, but seriously I think Abbo would need a couple of goes over it with the outfield mower.
Ashcroft continued to accumulate dots and hang on in and with Chewey departing, overseas allrounder Tom Bevan (is he any relation to Micheal Bevan?) came in. Initially he looked positive, cracking a nice 4 from a lose Burton delivery and then pushed what looked like a comfortable single out to Dips at point boundary, dithered on the call to bevan and when he eventually made the call, dips was releasing the ball for FK to take it left handed on the bouce and remove the bails to run him out. Bevans face said it all. He looked like Abbo when the IPA has run out.
So with a mid innings wobble it was shaping up to be a 48 pointer with other key clashes going on at Loughborough. A rested Colonel had another blast from the church end and it would be captain Ashcroft who would edge the chicken devourer to the awaiting claws of a diving badger, taking yet another fabulous catch to take the combined tally of the badger duo to 4 and a run out assist.
A double change would bring the ledge on, hoping to unwrap some birthday wickets. Kibworth annual leading wicketaker would be joined by POTS. The ledge almost held on to a great gully pouch from Daz and wouldn’t be kept out for long as he kept the brakes well and truly on.
At this stage 166 was the target to keep to and try and wrestle this batting point from the Kegworth Boy’s. This part of the script had reached the mifdfdle order, but a rally late on would re-write it. Daz got a wicket from a decent catch from FK at the second grab and pedro instigated the one hand one bounce local law to remove Simon Bird. It was a very well taken catch and the bouncing noise was actually one of the selectors lean boney body parts striking the deck first not the ball, a cleanly taken well judged catch.
Big Aussie opening Bowler Jordan Holmes bats one way. And to be fair it pretty much always works and with Ashcroft still pushing it around and giving him the strike, he clobbered some good late boundaries. Ashcroft would attempt to dance down to the ledge who saw him coming and pinged it down the leg past him for FK to stump him and with a couple more blows, they had posted 211. Which on a flat deck with limited pace and a short brown rapid outfield, looked like a steady total to knock off.
I wont dwell on the batting because 10 of us together only made 13 more than Burty who top scored with 54. Broughts unbeaten on 11 was stranded with 5 overs to go when a mistimed pull from FK was caught. Some not great shot selection and some tight bowling from Ashcroft and bevan whose 21 overs yielded just 38 runs and 5 wickets was perhaps the key difference in enticing the shots that were our downfall. A debut for Aadil who looked totally at ease for a well made 17 before he perhaps tried to hit one to hard and was bowled, but looked like he had played in the team for years. More great things to come from him I am sure this season.
The positive is that this was the turn around and we now have all the remaining teams to play again and kegworth also have to play a re-surgent Harborough and the ever dangerous Loughborough. Sides will play a part that may have struggled early on, with Ivanhoe having the services of ward and Thakkor for most of the season now and we still have to do battle with Syston at home. (a flat completely dead non turner please abbo!!!)
Holidays and injuries will test the other clubs in our leagues who perhaps don’t have the depth to chose from as we have and while we don’t want to be relying on favours from other teams, all we can do is win as many as we can in the run in and see where we go. With 1 cup and league to play for, everyone is up for it and will be keen to get a result against visiting Stoughton who held us to a draw in the 2nd game of the season.
Kibworth advanced to the Leicestershire U15 County Cup final with a 44 run victory over Leicester Ivanhoe on Friday night. On a glorious evening a good crowd of KCC supporters made their way to LFE to cheer the lads on. Included in the throng was Chairman Ellwood who after a week of Herculean effort was rejoicing in the fact that "there's a cricket match, a BBQ and a bar, and I don't have to look after any of them." Details of the toss did not reach you correspondent but KCC batted first with Aadil and Bhavik striding confidently to the wicket to face the opening attack of Short and Cox. Fresh from an unbeaten 53 on Tuesday night, Bhavik was looking in good nick before he inexplicably chipped to cover in the fourth over. Six runs later Fido followed him back to the hutch after a similarly anaemic clip to midwicket. At 26-2 and with a lengthy tail beginning to come into view there was a heavy responsibility on the shoulders of Aadil and new batsman Jon 'Matthew Hoggard' Butler. A solid and mature 56 run partnership between the two began to turn the game in KIbby's direction before Aadil reached his 50 and had to retire. 'Windy' Miller followed two balls later after picking the wrong answer to the question 'should I play forwards or back?’ Harry was replaced at the crease by the bounding figure of Monik Patel who showed that he can certainly run like Rikesh and lacks nothing in confidence. He scored only 7 but already looks like he belongs at this level. Someone who always looks like he belongs at any level he plays, is young Jonny B and he now proceeded to marshal the tail in an impressive late innings spurt before being caught in the last over for 44. Laurence Joel and Vikesh ran eagerly in support and our total of 138-7 looked competitive. In the absence of Charles Hurley, Ben Lodge and Chris Carson bowling options were not as plentiful as usual and so Aadil chose to open with himself as partner to Jon B. Ivanhoe opened with their main threat James Gamble who immediately stroked an Aadil full toss through midwicket for four and feasted on an unusually loose first over from Jon. After four overs Ivanhoe were 23-0 and looking dangerous as Aadil made a double bowling change. Windy Miller's first ball was a no ball pulled for four but he then settled down to a tight line. At the other end the irrepressible Monik made the vital first breakthrough as he clean bowled Cox for 5. With Smart now coming in to bat both Ivanhoe's best hopes were at the wicket but only briefly as Harry induced a lame chip from Gamble, gladly pocketed by Jonny Butler at midwicket. Harry's first cricketing experiences as a Kwik player came at Ivanhoe and so his unreserved delight in dismissing his former teammate was matched only by his Granddad who had spent the previous two hours listening to Mr Gamble Snr going on about what a great player James was. Windy's 'home coming' got even better in his next over as he sent Smarts off stump cartwheeling and with it the Ivanhoe challenge. The Kibby lads now did a professional job of shutting the coffin lid as H claimed his third wicket to end up with four overs 3-18. Olli Lodge bowled his four overs for one run less and was unlucky not to claim at least one scalp, Bhavik bamboozled the batsmen with two overs of spin costing just 7 runs and Jon and Aadil returned to hammer in the final nails. In the field Vikesh did good work at point, Laurence and Monik hurtled round the boundary and young Dyas Patel did a solid job hurling returns from the far parts of the field straight into Fido's gloves. When Ravi Tank claimed a catch, that possibly only he could have reached, two handed above his head, off the final ball it sealed a comfortable win that left players and supporters to enjoy the evening sunshine and contemplate a final against Sileby.
Off to Medbourne the Kibby lads went, driving in convoy through literally the middle of nowhere! Elliott leads the way, luckily with PC Pedley in the passenger seat! The presence of an officer of the law may have been the reason for Elliott not passing a slow motorist down a country road when nothing was ever going to be coming the other way or it may just have been the fact he was so far up the slow cars back end that he just couldn't see!
Anyway, to the cricket! With one job to do out went Peds to toss up with Kibbys very own golf pro and occasional cricketer Tom Driver! The toss was lost and KCC were asked to bat...
To the wicket strolled Herring and the Badger, a partnership of pure muscle and batting excellence, (both provided by Herring!)
After some decent opening overs from the Medbourne attack Herring starts to wind up and get going. The Badger however, who has took to midweek batting like a lead weight to water this week was struggling to hit it anywhere! And after scoring 6 off what seemed like a 100 balls was caught at long on!
Tim Ellwood was in at 3 and after an excellent knock on Wednesday was looking for some more runs, this however wasn't to be and he was caught by a boy who was possibly about 7 years old!
The real show started from here as Newby joined his Tigers mate at the crease, for the remaining overs a game of who could swing the bat the fastest and who could hit the biggest six seemed to be taking place and it was working very well. Herring finished with 65. Newby 56 not out and there was just time for Tommo to get 3 not out! KCC finished on 157-3 a good score although with a short boundary they would need to bowl well!
The Medbourne innings started perfectly for KCC and Jai 'kit advert' Singh as he clean bowled the opener who was attempting a pull shot to a half volley! The next 10 overs were occupied by Driver and Harborough man George Clarke who both knocked the ball around pretty well with a few boundaries. The game was set well with just a slight edge to the batting side. Jai finished with 1-24 from his 3 overs a great effort with a small boundary! This brought into the game Elliott who so far had contributed to the game with answering the question of "what have you done today Elliot?" with "I’ve done something but I can't remember what!!" Elliott bowled a tight line and length, and with some cunning field placing by captain Baldrick keeping the batters to singles pressure was starting to increase. Elliott finished with 3 overs for 19 a top effort. In the middle of this Driver managed to do something he hasn't done in a KCC shirt so far this year and pass the 50 mark! He then had a moment of madness turning to run a second with the ball in Herrings hand half way from the boundary, Tommo produced some handy glove work and Driver was ran out by half a pitch!
With 3 overs remaining the game was still in the balance, Ben Underwood bowled 2 of these overs and continued the good work keeping the batsman to singles, he finished with 2 overs for just 17 a great effort at the death. But the real story of the innings is the penultimate over when the game was really on a knife edge! Who was to bowl it? The skipper was vexed! Then he recalled that a man in the side has been seen regularly this year at nets terrorising the KCC boys in particular the 1st XI skipper! The ball was thrown to Badger who is always telling people he should bowl! An over of pure genius followed, 1 over 2 wickets for 4 runs including the wicket of danger man Clarke for 47. Never has a plan between keeper and bowler come off like this, a cleverly disguised slower/slower ball was bowled to which Clarke smashed it into his own foot and was caught by Tommo who was waiting just as planned!! Clarke despite being a Harborough man should be given credit for walking as the Medbourne umpire couldn’t tell if it had been a bump ball, Clarke also had Driver in his ear from the boundary telling him not to walk!! The next wicket to fall again was a keeper/bowler plan, a slowest ball was put down at knee height and the batsman bamboozled by this full bunger hit it straight up and into the expectant hands of Tommo! This left Ben with the task of not going for 30 off the final over which he managed with ease to see the KCC lads home…
Medbourne finished 143-4 with the golf pro’s run out being the key turning point!
So the game was wrapped up and into the final KCC midweekers go after a good team!
There was just time for the Badger to go 8 miles the wrong way home at the end!
After victories away to Kibworth 2nds and at home to Ilston Abbey, the 1st team were left with a tough draw away to Barrow in the Quarter Finals. Even tougher when we rocked up and discovered Barrow were at full strength. Kiby’s strength in depth would be tested with just 6 of Saturday’s 1st team available. Chuckle 1 was playing for Leicester. Fair enough. Chuckle 2 was at his new pad in Aylestone waiting for sky to be installed. FK was sticking to his one game a weekend schedule so would surely be seen parading the boundary at KCC with a pint in one hand sporting his most recent ‘try-hard’ clothing purchases. With the blustery wind almost ruining a nice day he might not actually have looked too out of place wearing one of his silly scarves like he was a couple of weeks ago on one of the hottest days of the year to date. Morgs has arrived back from Uni with some type of Thommo sympathy pain knee injury and looks like he will be missing for a few weeks. And finally Burty was proudly wearing the colours of his mates Belly and Trotty for Warks 17’s. Just to show that it’s all about the team and not individual performances when asked later in the day how he got on his response was “50 odd and 2for.” No reference made to whether he won or lost. An irrelevance in the cut throat modern game. Either that or he didn’t actually know. Which is potentially a good bet.
So anyway on to the game. Everyone arrived on time after suitably early nights and the pre-match warm up involved a plethora of different sized objects to throw/kick around. There was a football, a rugby ball and a mini Vortex. There were 6 cricket balls as well but they were the last things anyone was interested in as the three objects flew left, right and centre. Your back would be turned and you’d hearing a whistling noise and hit the deck as you feared the vortex would be about to smack you on the back of the head. The Badger was the most concerned for obvious reasons. Unfortunately for The Kibworth Legend the football didn’t come with a similar warning. Otherwise he might have avoided Lukey smacking the ball against the back of his head from point blank range! In typical Spiro fashion he took this out on the other 9 of us who were psssing our sides laughing. Reminding us all that it was a long season etc. Sorry 8 not 9. Aamir was otherwise engaged having a closer look at the vortex trying to work out exactly what it was, shaking it next to his ear like it was an unwrapped Xmas present. The olduns beat the Younguns at Vortex American Football. Bails scored the winning touch down although it has to be said the younguns choked on several decent scoring opportunities.
Barrow won the toss and batted first on a worn deck. I am sure the whole team were behind this decision and didn’t question the captain for the next hour. Broughts chose to bowl up the hill into the wind and so started proceedings. Aamir reluctantly ran down the hill with a tail wind at the other end. Rishi and Ramesh came out with a positive intent but some good bowling by Broughts and Aamir led to an ugly heave by Ramesh in the 7th over and he lost his off stump. Mo Bobat came to the crease and seemed uncharacteristically feisty. He played one nice shot of Aamir but was LB to the Kibworth Legend in the next over. Good change skip. Facing the Legend is tricky enough as it is but when you are batting with Craven’s hand and forearm in your mouth its even more difficult. Rosco replaced Aamir down the hill and immediately nicked off danger man Pope. Good change skip. Although if Broughts ever needs more proof of why he shouldn’t get drunk the night before a game then Popey was walking proof. Well maybe not walking proof, more like sleeping proof. As that’s what he did for the rest of their innings. Rosco then struck again next over and Barrow were suddenly 4 down. Rosco was displaying some great shapes in his early overs. Some truly magnificent shapes. There was something in it for everyone. Peely was thinking back to a recent scenario on stage and hoping for a repeat! The younger lads, the ‘middles’ and even the olduns like The Kibworth Legend, Bails, Aamir and The Selector. Aamir doesn’t miss a trick and had dressed to impress. Imaginations were running wild. Rishi was continuing to play his shots and as a result the scoreboard was ticking over fairly nicely. He however played one shot too many and Dazzler pouched him at midwicket off The Legend (3 for 20). The next man in played a woeful shot second ball and was caught mid off and at the half way stage Kiby enjoyed a drink with the score at 99 for 6.
Barrow’s Aussie captain was Batting! He was also at the crease still and still a danger man. He tried to counter attack but Bails snared him in his first over caught at deep square leg by Broughts. Broughts still managed an F Bomb as the ball was coming out of the cloud hidden sun. Good change skip. Dazzler was now operating up the hill and was tricky to play on a Bunsen. As Craven could testify as a couple whistled past his head. Although I guess that doesn’t really say a lot. Kiby old boy Imran was keeping us entertained in his own maverick fashion. Cap in place of helmet, dropping his gloves at the non strikers end, some kamikaze (non) running between the wickets, an edge for 4 that he claimed he intended. If he wasn’t such a nice lad he’d be the sort to really get under your skin but it’s difficult not to find him funny. He looked well set and then missed a full toss off Dazzler. Fergus came to the crease with the intention of alienating himself to the Umpires and then wondered why he was adjudged LB soon after. Dazzler (3 for 19) finished off the innings when Bargav (I think) took a break from running down the middle of the wicket and holed out to Broughts at long on. 159 all out in the 35th over.
In reply The Selector promoted himself in the order and was bowled in the third over. Bad change skip. Stay down at number 8 where you belong. Aamir joined Craven and they steadily built a platform against the testing attack of Stan and The Aussie Tim Wise. The Aussie was displaying better shapes than Rosco. (Sorry mate, but he was). Everything was in good order, tight and well proportioned. It was sickening to watch. Literally sickening. The Badger, who was getting a record amount of abuse even for him, saw off the openers and looked to bat through. The Badger craves this sort of abuse and it just makes him more determined. In fact you could say he wears it like of a badger of honour! See what I’ve done there? I am happy with that. Hold on I can go one better; The Badger Cravens this sort of abuse. Right I can’t top that, maybe I should stop now?!
Aamir was more positive and looked to put away anything too full. He fell to a long hop for 27 when the ball should have joined Spiro’s long hop from earlier in the day 2 fields away. Lukey was sent up the order to slog to the short boundary but nurdled his way to low teens before getting caught at backward point. POTS joined The Badger and The Badger couldn’t be happier than when POTS is stood by his side. Admittedly it’s normally as they pace the boundary edge whilst Craves sl*gs off whichever Umpire has just sorn him off. But still, he’s like a pig in sh1t when he’s with his old mucker from Hinckley and Shilton. For what its worth I think that all Umpires do a terrific job and I cannot remember one ever making a mistake. Without them there wouldn’t be a game and anyone who has the nerve to suggest they make mistakes and ruin games should be hung, drawn and quartered. Craves and POTS ticked the scoreboard over and Kiby needed 6’s off the last 10 with 7 wkts in hand. POTS fell in Bargav’s last over when the baller took a smart return catch and Fabian joined Craves. For the second time in a month Fabian made a potentially tricky scenario look very simple as him and Craves scored at 6’s and above. Fabian his a sumptuous straight 6 that almost had us home but then fell next ball caught at midwicket. Broughts joined Craves but only needed to face one ball before Craves despatched a couple to the ropes to see Kiby home with 10 balls to spare. Badger finished 84 not out and is now 204 not out against Barrow this season. No wonder they hate him so much. A great win. A great way to bounce back from the shambles that was Saturday’s 1st team performance. And a great testament to Kiby’s strength in depth. I think I even saw The Selector smiling. Although that may have been at some of the scenery rather than as a result of the cricket. Ivanhoe, Lutterworth and Broomleys or Loughborough 2nds await Kiby in the semis.
Team news saw the returning charlie Morgan return for his first outing in kcc colours for 2010, and POTS would be back from his festival glasto outing. Dips and Spiro would bolster the 2’s in a key clash with a strong countesthorpe side and would prove to be key performers in what was a solid big points scoring winning draw. The ledge picking up wickets and runs and dips cementing the side at the top of the order.
Hot day and a track that looked like it would disintegrate for batting second so first stab at batting on it before it got ugly was the way ahead. The odd lifter from nowhere wrapped the glove a couple of times but it was consistent line and length bowling from Lutterworth that provided dividends. A day when shot selection was questionable and we were on the rocks at 90 odd for 6. Selector strapped a big pair of kahoonas on and grinded away an innings of application and grit, backed by a determined broughts, who combined some cute nudges and glances with a couple of juicy maximums. Selector reached 50 and broughts a tidy 26 and somehow from nowhere we had amassed 211, which looked very defendable.
Lutterworth demonstrated that line and length was the way forward and if there were any demons in the pitch, the full pitched up straight ball was likely to get a wicket. Plenty of pace and bounce in the track and lots of footholes on a dusty cracked deck, would surely give the kcc men a real chance of early in roads into the lutterworth line up.
Lutterworth reached the target with 13 overs to spare. Lewis Hill reaching 103 not out with a reasonable amount of luck but a classy finish and supported at the end by keeper Budd also enjoying a slice or two of fortune but both played the ball on its merits.
We await to see what results around the county would do to the league table and how the lads react this weekend against Kegworth who remain probably the most consistent all round team in the division.
A tremendous result achieved yesterday at barrow by a revised line up and great credit for bouncing back against a full strength barrow and a gutsy knock by the badger to secure a win in the last over.
Good results at the club for the 2’s 3’s and 4’s and a busy weel ahead with under 15’s in county Semi final away at Ivanhoe on Friday. A win would see a final game against Sileby and then into Group stages against Northants opposition. It would be nice to see this crop go onto emulate the Kibworth junior national Winners of years back.
A full set of wins the target for next week and a dent in the chairmans wallet for the first clean sweep of the 2010 campaign.
Good morning KCC fans and welcome to this weeks FK match report. An unusually brief report, not because I actually have to do some work this Monday morning, but it was a relatively incident free Saturday in the sun.
Team news as always first of all. Jacko was unavailable as one of his milk teeth was a bit wobbly and he thought if it came out and he was playing cricket, he would miss the tooth fairy leaving 50p under his pillow. In truth he actually was having a wisdom tooth out and would come to watch part of the game. looking swollen and grotesquely deformed, which was nothing to do with his tooth. In for Jacko would be Spiro, who is actually a much better player than jacko anyway.
Other changes would be a break from shouting and screaming on the cricket pitch for POTS, who would be attending Glastonbury to shout and scream instead. Badger reliably informed us that this was the first league game POTS had missed since the age of 15, which was actually 176 consecutive games. The badger himself failed to understand how anything was remotely more important than playing cricket. (Which is why he is about to be single with no GF again!)
So in for POTS would come the buffoon that is Greg Smith. Chuckle 2 was back from University where he has been pretending to get some form of education, where he is actually just squandering his parents vast fortune and playing cricket, drinking heavily and chasing anything with a pulse. Same as Chuckle 1 did at Oakham.
Anyway, the rest of us had hung on to our places for another week, even the selector had kept faith in himself. It was debated long into last Monday night, but the Selectors ability to toss the coin and shake hands with the opposition captains has been tremendous so far this season, and for that reason, he retained his place.
Unusually FK was actually early and had even been into the changing room at 11am. Not to prepare his usual dressing room spot or to air his disgusting inners, but to place special name places next to the spots where his team mates change. Many of you will know that sports people are creatures of habits and layers sit in the same places every week. Even in the away dressing rooms, most settle in the same position. For those who are keen to know how this work out, it goes as follows:
Looking into the dressing room and looking left.:
Along the Window
FK- has the window sill for his various tablets, sprays and anti-ageing products. And nearest the open windows because his inners stink.
Down the left hand side:
POTS – Left corner next to FK.Nice and quiet
Badger – enough distance from POTS due to huge head circumference and height of bench suitable so it doesn’t touch the carpet when sitting post shower. Kit scattered everywhere
Clarkey – Goes for the Top shelf where there are Tupperware boxes laden with dry pasta and dead chicken. Hangs his radar here as often forgets to bring it out to bowl.
Tramp – Broughts has room for his bags of sweets. Space always left as he is always late.
Selector – In the middle (the only time he is likely to be this season now batting at 9ish)
Jacko – Hangs his silly shopping bag here. No towel. Never showers.
Chuckle 1 – Cobb Corner. Usually left, surrounded by crisp and chocolate wrappers and 4 empty pints of coke. Also must be the best part to receive mobile phone reception for the circa 400 texts each Saturday.
Along the back wall:
Ledge – His spot, nobody ever puts their kit here. Respect.
The Colonel – In the corner next to shower. Extra room for 27 metres of bandages
Along the right hand side wall:
Dips – Organised and sensible. Always left vacant due to lateness.
Stringfellow – Bats, gay fielding gloves. Unused hook for towel. Express checkout area. Spot cleared and vacated 8 mins after the game finishes.
Please feel free to look at the images representing these players. None are flattering and all self explanatory to anyone following the match reports.
Next for the weekly Sweet update. Anyone old enough will remember the small bracelets or necklaces on stretchy string that are made up various candy beads of assorted colours and flavours. Yes sweet fans, these were this weeks selection. Cobb would be seen wearing his in necklace fashion at 1st slip and munching away.
The selector had won the toss and elected.to bowl. Newly promoted Narborough have found the prem tough but have a great team spirit and some good young players. Always a danger is former KCC allrounder Mick Whitmore, one of the classiest bats in Leicestershire cricket for many years and Overseas “bruce” Groblar.
Tramp and the Colonel opened up and both bowled very well, unlucky not to pick up a nick to FK as they beat the bat of Wooloff and Whitmore many times. The colonel sliding them away and tramp pegging wooloff back with some hostile pace and regs broughts aggression.
After 8 overs there were only 10 runs on the board with 4 being an outside edge and it looked like the selectors boys would be in the box seats with a 180 max target. Wolloof was bowled by the colonel and it would then be a steady partner ship that would accelerate the total for a good 10 overs. After 20 overs they had posted over 70 with the loss of 1 wicket and South african allrounder still to come in. Indeed when number 3 eventually perished, he would partner whitmore and frustrate the KCC boys. Looking very comfortable, Groblar melted some well timed boundaries and in the 27 degree heat it was tough work at fleckney raod for the fielding side. The selector juggled the bowling to try and break up the partnership and eventually it would be Clarkey who would turn the game as groblar “got confused by the straight one – Clarkeys words not mine!) and punched it to be caught by Dips. (I think?)
Ledge and Cobby bowled in Tandem. Both also in tandem not turning any. Not true, actually ledge turned a few, Cobb absolutely barrel straight! Some distinctly average fielding this week in the heat frustrated the selector, who himself was outstanding at short midwicket and gaining himself friction burns to his elbows and knees. As the selector is now single again (its not you it’s me!), it may be sometime before any other activities create the same skin related injuries. The Selector was plus 8 at least, where we were probably as a team minus 20, but sometimes it goes that way and especially in the heat.
Faith and persistence paid off as wickets would come at regular intervals, but some decent strikes and a bit of luck would see the original 180 target passed and the second 200 target passed. At 7 down and 2 bowling points the innings would close at 231 for 7 and what was an absolute road and lightening outfit, would hopefully be 25-30 runs short for the visitors.
Tea taken and plenty of water taken on board.
Stringfellow and the badger would continue their weekly partnership against the lively attack of county man Masters and slippy Whitmore D. The badger was relishing the pace onto the bat and must have been feeling particularly up for it, when before the innings Cobb imparted wise words of support and a good luck pat on the helmet. What the badger didn’t know, was that this was not a genuine demonstration of team morale, but the excuse for Cobb to apply the badger sticker to the badgers helmet, who would bat his short innings with his name emblazoned on his large blue heed.
Master would indeed look to have some decent wheels, but it would be Whitmore who would remove the unlucky badger from proceedings. Thrashing his bat into his front pad, the ball skimmed seeming one bounce into the keepers glove and the badger was judged caught behind. Doubly unlucky for the badger who a) claimed he hadn’t touched it and would have walked if he had (REGS!!!) and b) Ledge reckoned it may not have carried anyway.
So the badgers season of luck in the league would poke it’s head up once more and the sympathetic smirks and grins as the badger muttered obscenities at the top of his voice in the changing room, from his team mates would provide further amusement later on.
Having had pad rash in his previous outing, greg would slide in ahead of Dips at 3 with Cobb at 4. Stringy and Chuckle looked good together, clearly not in the looks department, but in the batting solidity version. Greg (Durham University captain Smith – yes I know, who on earth would give the most irresponsible man on the planet since a BP engineer said “don’t worry, it’s just a couple of blobs of oil, nobody will notice!) the job of captain, is beyond us all.
Stringy looked good for 41 but nicked off (I think!) . Unlucky as the oppo keeper had borrowed Fido’s dinner plates for most of the game. That brought text and sex pest together and the future of Leicestershire County cricket Club for the coming years. Having these 2 together is normally as dangerous leaving stringy to drive in the dark without lights on, or Abbo in the presence of a free bar.
The balcony is a great place to watch the game and not only can you see the action, but hear what’s going on, whether on the pitch or from supporters of home and away teams. The badger still seething from his injustice hadn’t had the calming influence of POTS to walk 32 times round the boundary with and calm down and so was still incandescent with rage. While this just provided more amusement for FK and the selector, the opening bowler at fine leg who claimed his wicket, was chatting with the narborough faithful who had been climbing into the Kronenbourg with Abboesque regularity. “It’s about time we had a bit of luck” was the phrase overheard. FK and the selector calmy discussed the several plumb LBW’s that had bee turned down during our bowling stint and that perhaps the narborough discussion was perhaps a little blinkered and one sided. The badger had also heard this comment and in a torrent of “F” Bombs, stomped into the dressing room to let of steam and at least 1 “c” Bomb. The Ledge who was sitting near to the debating narborough chaps found it hilarious as did the rest of us and the badger emerged to take broughts (substitute POTS walking partner) round the ground to go over the dismissal about 63 times. (Not since the Guildford 4 has such a travesty of justice taken place)
Greg in between playing and missing looked in top form, as did Cobb who was venting his non batting in 20:20 cricket frustration on the narborough bowlers. Groblar was in the unusual position of getting zero respect and cobb planted him over the pavilion into the pond for a sizeable six. Greg had a sharp chance dropped at first slip of masters, to then smash the next short one for 4 to rub salt in it further. The Narborough boys found it tough going in the heat as the ball disappeared every slightly off line delivery. Both passed 50, with Cobb catching Greg as he looked to dominate the spinner. The target was whittled down quickly, with returning openers Whitmore d and masters having one last blast, but the extra pace and bounce suited the chuckle brothers and the target was reached with 13 overs to spare.
The post match events were regs. Before Cobb had removed his pads, Stringy had packed and gone. FK was on his second lager in the changing room, Badger was still talking through the dismissal, Cobb was texting and Ledge was perfectly organised and showered.
Without bowling narborough out, we would be several points short despite a win and hopefully results elsewhere would help the cause. The selector text me drunkenly on Sunday morning to inform me we were top, with both Kegworth and Sileby losing. A delighted FK replied only for the Selector to forget that Syston were actually top and that he forgot about them.
Next weeks away game at Lutterworth becomes even bigger and perhaps trickier for the selector as Scarecrow returns from Uni and POTS is back from Festival duties. This could be the week he does the decent things and as we have all suspected, stands down honourably for the good of the team and the club. (just kidding!)
Sunday cricket at Kibworth is all about club members doing extraordinary things. Today's clash at Bowden was just another example of that.
Paul Illingworth hit his annual six, a monsterous straight smash down the ground that only a tall tree stopped from going onto the adjoining railway line. He only then bowled the last over and took his first wicket of the year. The crowd went wild.
Curtis Harding pulled a real vote winner out of the locker by bringing ice lollies to the party and then took two wickets with his off spin. His team mates went wild.
Pete Moran took two wickets with his seamers, Chris Carson took a wicket too with a cartwheeling middle stump. Everyone (except the unfortunate batsman) went wild.
The real man of the match stuff was provided by Rickesh Patel. 105 not out from 75 balls. Wonderful stroke play, insane running in insane heat and Kibworth had a score of 220 which Bowden would not get close to.
Perhaps some more aggressive bowling changes would have turned to draw into a win but it was such a lovely day and the whole winning thing just seemed a nonsense.
Thrilling last ball win for KCC U15's vs Lutterworth away at Lutterworth last night in the District Under 15 final. Batting 1st KCC reached 140, with 50's from Hurlers and Aadil and a quick fire 30 odd from Fido and some scampering from Bav. A flurry of wickets at the end to reach a decent 140 from 20 overs. Some tight bowling and excellent fielding from the hosts.
In reply former KCC man Nav Rajput looked to be the danger man and the game after a decent start from Hurlers and Jonny B, started to swing Lutertworths way. It was like a team of Aadils as the noise level and intensity grew and a real desire to win took over. A young KCC, including lads who will still play in Under 125's next year including carson, double lodges and Jonny B really did huge credit to themselves, throwing theselves around. Some outstanding fielding from Bav saw 2 run outs, with great work at the stumps from Carson. Fido snaffled a top drawer catch running backward to a huge top edge and it was all in the balance. Lodgey had a tough task of bowling the penultimate over and despite a nervous start, came to the party with a great finish. Needing 11 to win off the last over, hurlers took the final over and with some great death bowling, it came down to 7 from the last ball to win. 1 wide or no ball and it would still be game on, but the KCC boys held their nerve and won by 5 runs and one of the best games of junior cricket played for some time. Reminded me of a few tense cockspur games of the past.
Arise the Junior badgers!!!
Saturday’s back to back away game for the 1’s, saw a visit to Leicester Forest East and the hopes of another victory to maintain the recent good winning streak. Kegworth remained at the top of the table and have had the fortune not to have a fixture abandoned this season, which has helped their points total.
Team news saw an unchanged side and despite his shocking fielding display, Jacko kept his place and with the scarecrow still up north, FK dragged his stinking inners along 25 mins before the start of the game (regs! Before anyone else says it)
Ivanhoe clearly know their wicket well and when winning the toss, certainly didn’t want to bat on it first, so it was back to the changing rooms for the pre-match banter.
Broughts continues to please his team mates with his regaulr selection of swwets. For the confectionery officionados out there, this weeks saw the remains of last weeks fruit jellies and a new bag of sour cherry cola bottles.
Cobb never normally last in the queue for sweets (for the newer players at the club, he was also nicknamed “Tuckshop” as his cricket bag was like a cadbury’s warehouse) was the first into the bag, followed by Jacko. Cobb demolished his like a pro and jacko face meant he had either smelt FK’s inners or he wasn’t a fan of this weeks sweet.
The team all changed into their whites ( YES FIDO, THOSE ARE THE THINGS THAT OF THE 4 TEAMS PLAYING FOR KCC ON SATURDAY, 43 OF US BROUGHT ALONG WITH US. YOU COMPLETE AR*E!)
Office Jockey FK clearly has too much down time and had created some new badger posters. A fortunate google search found a cartoon image of 11 badgers in a field, altered to sport KCC badges. The badger theme has now extended to the entire team and we are all now happy busy badgers in the field, led by the King Badger, Craven.
Ivanhoe team news saw only 1 real Ivanhoe stalwart take the field in Karl Geary and the absence of Shiv and Ward, Ivanhoes key men in their previous weeks victory. The usual due of the badger and Burty “jimmy saville hair” would of course form the opening partnership. When I say partnership, you obviously think of 2 people working hard together and forming something positive. Burty, fresh from a televised appearance as 12’ers for the Bears 20:20 game, hadn’t got that part of the message and trudged slowly back to the pavilion for an unusual failure, without troubling Geoff Lee in the scorebox.
Dips was in at 3. He had asked jacko to source him a new bat the previous week and in true form, The Experiment brought along a selection of willows for the Dipper to pick from. Jacko’s bat the Gray Nicholls Stupid Shot Pro, was too heavy for dips, so he carried on with his current blade and would make his choice later on in the day.
The temperature plummeted as the boys found shelter huddled to the side of the pavilion, with bags emptied to find any form of additional clothing layers to keep out the icy wind. Faithful George the Burtons Black Labrador, would try and ease the cold by letting out warm gas every 5 minutes. Cobb still preferred this to changing next to FK and his rotten inners.
The badger and the Dipper looked in good form. Dips nurdled and guided and the badger was regs badger and a good partnership started to build. Some well timed boundaries by both and we were soon 60 odd for 1 in just over 10 overs.
Whilst well out of earshot at the crease, a full evaluation of the badgers GF could be undertaken. So far GF appearances have been made by Burty’s GF (100% attendance at all games burty has played in this season) Clarkey’s GF (1 appearance dissapointly not more than this and without bring along her sister, which we have been reliably informed is a treat) and the current mrs badger on her second appearance having arrived on horseback.
This killed some time for Cobb, FK, Former captain and now selector Pedro, Jackson, broughts and burty. POTS was also there but as he has taken a vow of silence (like about 4 do everytime we field!) , did not comment.
The badger hates missing out on the banter and decided to depart. I cant remember how to be honest, but it was probably caught somewhere on the legside.
Chuckle Cobb managed to put his phone down long enough to go for a bat and the boys were reminded just why its his day job as he stamped his class on the game and wasn’t long before an neffortless straight drive cleared the ropes for a maximum. He would soon lose the services of Dips, who was batting without spikes. Burty ever the sensible, saw that the dipper had left his spikes in the barrow changing room and made sure he picked them up and then put them in his garage. (where they still are!!!) But at least Dips had the rest of his playing gear (unlike fido who is adopted and not related to me at all. Sorry Wilko!)
Cobb would be joined by POTS, which was a relief for the lads as it gave us a break from his constant chatting. This was perhaps the most perfect pairing since the Keely Hazel edition of FHM. Why POTS hasn’t played first class cricket is a bit of a mystery to most.
The got on top of the Ivanhoe bowling who had no answers and Cobb past 50 and it looked like 250-265 was on the cards with wickets in hand. The selector continued to slide himself down the order and was nearing the depths of broughts and FK territory. With Cobb spooning one and out on 70 odd, Jacko would busy himself with POTS and unusually jacko looked really good. (no it not a joke! He really did) Jacko used to be the best fielder in the club and has lost that mantle to POTS and was possibly looking to show the loudmouth POTS that he was also once a decent allrounder.
He did a great job and we were on the way to our biggest leage tally batting 1st, until a brisk fall of wickets meant that we then had to get a scamper on and the last 7 overs saw the selector eventually get to the crease. Not a bad number 9 some would say (Obviously not me, as the selector has got the yips and needs to strap a pair on and man up and get himself in at 3 or 4 and show why he made so many runs last year!)
Anyway, FK even had his pads on as Broughts whirled away. The selector perished to a fortunate catch as he nailed one through square leg and we rallied to 230 for 9, perhaps 20 short, but on a wicket that was variable with the emphasis on the low side, it was a good first half.
Tea is one of the most important parts of a cricketers day and most are notoriously fussy and picky about tea and much time is spent talking about where the best teas are etc etc. Cobb doesn’t play that game, because he admitted they get things like bangers and mash and roast dinners etc. So it was into the pavilion for tea. It was a vegetarians paradise, as a plethora of salad and rice combos filled the table. It was packed with nutrition, vitamins and minerals and actually was probably the best lunch for a cricketer. However we aren’t proper cricketers and sighs about the lack of a cheese sandwich or a quiche or pork pie and cake filled the pavilion. Cobb and FK made a daring raid on the solitary plate of choccie biscuits and scoffed the remaining 6. The badger loaded up on buttered bread while POTS made an angry tirade at the oppo tea lady. Just like KCC, there are 2 home games each week at Ivanhoe and the 3rd teams tea looked much more appealing. Cobb tried to be-friend some youths in exchange for a scotch egg but failed. He would however make the short journey to Cobb Towers, returning with assorted long sleeved garments as everyone had underclubbed on the cold weather attire. (opposed to completely underclubbing and not bringing any kit with you at all like Fido. Dumbo!)
So with a hunger to take wickets and a hunger, the boys took the field. Jacko filled his pockets with sweets.
Aamir steamed in from the rugby ground end and broughts flew in from the other. Variable bounce cuased a bit of concern as FK would get them either at ankle or nose height, with not much in between for most of the innings. An early wicket clean bowled by The colonel and the boys felt good. Good fielding standards helped the momentum and the selector moved his field with precision as he looked to contribute to the day. The badger, FK, Jackosn and Cobb looked on in amusement as a 5 minute discussion between the selector and the colonel was clearly part of a strategic plan. The plan must have been to move dips from midwicket into the offside and then bowl a rubbish short legside delivery which was hammered for 4, because that’s what happened! Much chuckling from behind the wicket from the usual suspects as the selector looked away to give some daggers to the colonel.
The twigg brothers (again not some sort of gag, but their actual surnames!) batted sensibly and survived a couple of LBW shouts. FK chirped that they were only in the side making up the numbers until Shiv and Ward came back. (Hark at him, pot calling kettle, people in glass houses etc etc!!!!)
Anyway. Broughts and aamir tried to bring in the number 4, but a double change would see clarkey charge in and after a hesitant start, got some rhythm going and beat the bat with a few pearlers and some fiery stuff which pushed FK, cobb and Jackson back a few yards. He would pick up a couple, but it would be the fast non spinning spinners from Cobb at the other end, which would start the Ivanhoe downfall. He would eventually bowl 14 overs, a feat he hasn’t achieved since a junior.
Clarkey picked up 1 from the other end as we would eventually take 4 wickets courtesy of LBW’s on the low bouncing track. Tigers man Vesty perhaps a tad unlucky as one sliding down leg was given, with a plumb shout from Clarkey previously turned down.
Cobb bowled well, even bringing out the quicker ball, to go with the quicker ball he already can only bowl. A challenge was made by FK, for Cobb to try the Jacko “delay” ball. You know the silly one where he starts to bowl then freezes at point of delivery for what seems like 3 minutes and then bowls!. He pulled it off with style defeating the batsmen and hitting FK on the wrists as he was too busy laughing at the grinning Cobb.
With wickets falling and the score at 80 odd for 8. the colonel already with 4 wickets to his name, badgered the selector for 1 more over to get his michelle and had another go. The colonel took probably the most outrageous catch of the season at slip. (yes slip, where so far he has been about as effective as a 1 legged man in an ar*e kicking contest) Off the darts of cobb a underside edge at 80 miles an hour just landed in his hands, to the gasps of everyone else.
With 8 down, POTS would grab a wicket to leave us needing 1 more and with the Ivanhoe batter trying to farm the strike from the number 11 with a dodgy hamstring, there was clearly going to be a run out and some backing up to do at both ends. I say clearly because nobody told burty, as a throw from jacko at the non strikers end motored past him for 4 over throws and a double teapot from the selector.
Pots wrapped up the innings and Ivanhoe all out for about 117 I think and another maximum. Weekend results went largely our way and we now are in 3rd place Kegworth retain top slot with 144 points, Syston who won at the weekend courtesy of some Bloke called Saqlain getting a bagful in 2nd with 140 and us on 138.
The badger was the victim from a happy slapping incident involving FK which is currently being investigated by club officials.
A visit from second bottom narborough next week which shouldn’t be taken lightly, as the second team know from last season that south African allrounder Groblar is a serious player
On a final note, Fido is a fool. Sorry Wilko! Just to top off his performance, Fido having been given strict instruction from his mother before his clothing debacle to be home at 9.30pm, drifted in at 9.55pm, with the excuse that he saw me at the club and was waiting for me. Not much of an excuse when I got back at 8.45pm. Not content with that, on opening the front door in the morning, his mother discovered a full Fido kit bag which he had left on the road overnight.!!!
Where were the condoms in 1995!!!!!
They say that catches win matches.....well no-one told the Wednesday night XI at Bowden this week. Tom Baileys men overcame the hosts despite shelling four, not a bad effort for a ten man team including yours truly and Tom's footballing mate Lee. Skipper Bailey had heavily increased Vodaphones profits as he searched high and low to fill a side that fell as low as 7 men on Monday night and only when Sam Pole arrived five minutes before the start were we sure of reaching double figures. Bowden batted first and Messers Broughton & Riley started the attack. An early wicket for the tramp thanks to a stump high full toss was greated with great joy especially by temporary wicket keeper Wilko as it meant he didn't have to catch it. Not that Mike should have worried about this as catching was very much an optional extra especially for the bowlers. Three caught and bowled chances were but down, two by Jo Cuthbert and one by the Sponsorship chairman (is he looking for a contribution from Teflon)? In between Kev did take a fine diving effort at point and Broughts held one on the square leg boundary as Bowden struggled to gain much momentum. The ten men did their best to look like 11 and Broughts and Jo in particular bowled tightly as the home team finished on 120 from their 14 overs. Despite the early loss of Wilko the Kibworth reply was always up with the run rate thanks to Duncan Jones beligerant 44 and the usual mad scampering from Broughton & Riley. After the inevitable run out had seen off Kev, Jo Cuthbert came in to join Dan and the pair kept up with the run a ball requirement. The game was effectively settled in the 13 over as Dan dumped Rob Gomez over long on for six and Jo was left to finish things off by gliding the first ball of the final over backward of point for four. Well worth all those phone calls Tom!
KCC 3rd XI entertained St Crispins Ryelands 2nd XI at Fleckney rd on Saturday 29th May 2010
On a day affected by rain the match eventually began shortly after 2.30 pm with both sides allocated 38 overs a piece.
Having won the toss DG elected to bowl first and paired up the enigmatic Jai and ever dependable Tej with the new ball. St Crispins came out swinging and early runs went on the board but a great catch by PK at Gully started the ball rolling. Positive batting continued but Jai knocked back the off peg on two occasions taking St Crispins to 43 inside the 8th over.
The run rate then dried up slightly and Ben Underwood and Key Riley joined the attack. Both bowled well but as the ball got wetter they struggled to hit the exact areas and St Crispins pushed on. PK was brought on at the pylon end and found a lovely rhythm from ball one. He got stuck into the St Crispins middle order and eventually finished with 8 overs 5 for 41 including a lovely caught and bowled for his fifth wicket. Jai finished with four wickets and would have had five save for a relatively easy chance put down in the covers.
St Crispins finished on 197 from their 38 and KCC were in with a good chance.
A quick tea saw an experimental opening pair put together to lead the KCC reply. The big hitting Ben Underwood and stalwart Imran Mir had 36 overs to make an impression as rain had struck again stealing two overs from us. They both looked untroubled in the opening 4 overs ticking the score along at 4 an over but Blunders lost his off peg bringing Sgt Wilko to the crease. Mick and Imran continued the chase with Mick looking imperious and Imran resolute. They looked comfortable but could not quite push on in the middle overs and the required run rate began to climb. When Imran was eventually dismissed in the 18th over KCC were at 63 with half their overs gone.
PK came and went for a quick 8 and DG joined Mick at the crease with the intention of upping the run rate. He then proceeded to fall into quick sand and the run rate slowed even further with positive shots going straight to fielders and defensive shots bringing murmurs of discontent from the stands. 6 overs wasted and only 20 runs scored was not the injection of pace required and KCC found themselves 91 for 5 as DG and Rickesh fell in quick succession.
A rain break then followed and most thought that was the end of the day but the St Crispins captain was adamant he wanted to wait for the clouds to blow over and we took the field once again with 9 overs still to face.
Kev Riley and Mick then showed the rest of the team how it should have been done. They smeared the ball to all parts in the closing stages much to the annoyance of St Crispins and took kcc to 176 in the 35th over. Kev finished on 45* and Wilko 78*. An excellent effort that this captain can only wish he had emulated in the middle order.
KCC 10 points St Crispins 12. With only one other result in the Northants div 5 KCC now sit second 10 points behind Geddington and 13 points ahead of St Crispins.
25% of the season is done and we must maintain momentum into the heart of the summer. Discipline is the name of the game when bowling and fielding and we must remain positive when batting ensuring that we don’t ask too much of the final overs of the game when chasing. Well done lads keep on grafting.
Result:- Laughton and Mowsley won by a shed load.
Some years ago Captain Bligh and his crew, led by the infamous Fletcher Christian, had a slight disagreement here and there. This minor set to led to the ships company rising against its skipper and setting him adrift on the open ocean.
Now I am not trying to tell you that there are wide expanses of the sea near Mowsley, I am not even trying to suggest that the Sunday XI would rise up against anything other than bad beer at the close of play, but they weren't altogether impressed when the skipper put the opposition in on a red hot afternoon. A decision it has to be said that had more to do with making a game of it than higher tactical thinking.
Fielding in such weather is a chore, spending endless minutes fetching balls from the surrounding hedgerow just stretched it out further. The bowling was decidedly average, the fielding likewise and, perhaps quite understandably, the wicket keeping a little difficult in the heat. In such conditions the reactions slow down and the ground seems a lot further away. Laughton and Mowsley scored 228 for 3 from their allotted 40 overs.
The conversations at tea were realistic. The team has a longer tail than a kangaroo that had had an accident with a mangle and any score over 200 seemed a long way to go. The advice was to bat, enjoy yourself and see where it led to. If all else failed 'The Staff Of Life' was open down the road.
Tad was the first to go, commendably walking when there seemed some doubt if the ball had carried. Ken followed not long afterwards literally running after a wide one and somehow shovelling it at the gully fielder. Cars were being started and the landlord was wiping the bar down.
That Kibworth didn't capitulate is down to a mix of application, talent and sheer bloody mindedness. The natural talent came from Olly Cornish who bludgeoned the ball around including one big six down the ground, indeed if his concentration hadn't been broken by some good natured banter who knows how many he could have scored. The application came from Badri who scored a chanceless 74 not out and kept the innings together. The blood mindedness came from the skipper who once again sold his wicket dearly, eventually being castelled by one that shot through at ant height. Kibworth had hung on at 135 for 9.
Winston Churchill was keen to stress after the evacuation that a defeat should not be treated like a victory. Likewise this rather disappointing showing should not be glossed over by one or two personal performances. What it did show though is that this side won't roll over and have its tummy tickled like an old dog, there is pride and fight there. Sometimes, especially in an outgunned (mainly) young side, that is enough.
TEAM
Pounds K, Pole, Badri, Cornish, Miller, Thompson J (Wkt), Neal, Lodge E, Jennings (Capt), Lodge O, Moran
KCC 3rd XI travelled to Geddington 2nd X1 on Saturday the 22nd of May 2010. Despite selection antics throughout the week Kibworth boasted a good side on paper and were looking forward to taking on a Geddington side sitting 2nd just behind KCC in division 5.
Losing the toss on a stiflingly hot day DG was not disappointed that KCC were put into bat and was relishing watching his new opening pair of PK and Rickesh work the Geddington bowlers around the park. Sadly as he sat down to watch the third ball of the first over he saw PK struck on the pads bang in front. There then followed what can only be described as a procession of batsmen come and go. Geddington bowled full and straight hitting good areas and with some help from a deteriorating pitch and a generous umpire put KCC back in the box with only 83 scored. Ben Underwood and Rickesh were the only guys who could hold their heads up to any degree both battling to 16 a piece but to put that in perspective extras top scored with 19. Simmo and DG could probably count themselves unlucky with their decisions but no real excuses can cover such a poor performance.
A quick tea was followed by an equally quick run chase. Geddington made light work of the runs racing to 85 for 1 after just 17.4 overs. Tej and Jai did their best and a sharp chance was put down at second slip that Jai had worked hard to manufacture. Joe Cuthbert came into the attack early with nothing to lose and battled bravely doing all he could to find a wicket. Simmo came to the party bowling a beautiful outswinger that nipped the off bail away but it was all too little too late as Geddington showed KCC the art of front foot batting.
KCC 3rd XI will have to show great character next week when we entertain St Crispins Ryelands at Fleckney rd. As we rise through the leagues we will not have it all our own way and however strong we look on paper if players do not stand up to be counted we will be on the end of a few hidings this year. There was no magic to how Geddington beat us and some simple, honest and time consuming hard work will be needed in order to get us back to winning ways. Hopefully the first team performance that a good majority of the third team watched should provide inspiration and bring home what a great club we have the pleasure of representing.
We have now slipped to 2nd place 8 points behind Geddington and 14 clear of St Crispins Ryelands. DG
Kibworth lost by 86 runs
All good things come to an end. The piece of chewing gum you have had on the end of the bed for six months, the toothpaste tube you have been squeezing in miserly fashion for weeks on end, even the cover of your latest Pie Chuckers Monthly Magazine can wear out sooner or later. In a similar vein the Sunday XI's unbeaten start to the season came to a convincingly end yesterday.
When you lose by 86 runs there can be few excuses. Its not like you can say it was a bad umpiring decision, a lucky edge or a crucial misfield, you have to hold your hands up and admit you have received a good old fashioned public school style thrashing. However that wouldn't be telling the entire story. Chasing 218 Kibby had got away to a shaky start, rallied to a decent platform, wobbled again and then, in a resolute rearguard playing for a draw, wobbled again and fell apart in a big fat hurry. Like their skipper there had been an awful lot of wobbling.
The opening pair had been dismissed with only 26 on the board. Tommo, fulfilling the Sunday requirement for a portly opener with limited movement and debutant 'Bad Boy' were back in the hutch before the score had gone past 30. Harry 'Windy' Miller swiped a breezy 25 and Aadil began his usual pyrotechnics as the score flew past 50. Respectability seemed possible, victory a distant but not impossible dream.
Windy and Chris Carson departed in short order, Jai Singh joined Aadil and the score began ticking again. With his personal score in the 40's though Aadil went for one too many and was pouched. 18 overs gone, 22 to go and the skipper was walking out to the middle with the team heading down Bourneville Boulevard.
Anyone who has had the dubious pleasure of watching The Bard bat for any length of time knows what to expect. Expansive stroke play, extravagant footwork, flashing blade work, forget it! It's like a wide brick wall but with zero ambition and even less technique. This time though he excelled himself in an innings that redefined turgid. Be in no doubt, this made Geoffrey Boycott seem positively Caribbean.
Jai batted nicely but when he departed, quickly followed in bizarre circumstances by Tim Neal, Jatin arrived and the real blocking began. The Bard with his forward defensive to everything that was even vaguely in his half and Jatin with a leave alone that was more extravagant than Lilly Savage at the cosmetics counter at Harrods. The balls were counted down and the spectators started falling asleep.
The overs ticked down to less than 12, less than 10, with less than 8 to go it seemed like the cricketers that stroke play forgot might just about get away with it then tragedy struck. The skipper who had accumulated 17 at the rate of about 1 an over got a loopy edge to one just outside off and the house of cards finally fell in. Huncote didn't need the remaining six and a bit overs to finish off the game, they barely needed six balls as Jatin and Peter Moran fell in quick succession.
Perhaps the Huncote score was par for the course on the wicket, perhaps the Kibworth bowling albeit with keen fielding didn't have the required penetration even though eight of the team had a go. A sliding catch by the skipper and some monstrously good , after shave sniffing, follow throughs by Peter Moran when bowling were slim pickings from 40 overs in the field.
This though is the Kibworth Sunday XI. Success and failure, as Rudyard Kipling once said, are two imposters to treat just the same. The banter was good, the team spirit excellent and we all convene next weekend at Laughton and Mowsley to try again.
KCC 3rd XI entertained Overstone Park 2nd XI at Fleckney rd on the 15th of May Winning the toss DG elected to field first and initially things went very well. Tej and Simmo hit some good early areas and within 15 overs we were well amongst them having taken early wickets and restricted the run rate nicely. But in 50 over cricket there is plenty of time for change and Overstone began to turn things around with some unusual shot selection and a hint of luck. The old saying catches win matches holds a reverse and when catches are dropped decent players benefit. Sadly KCC dropped a vital catch with a young talented South African only on 20. He went on to get 92 and Overstone finished on 186 for 7. Simmo was again excellent taking 3 for 54 in his 15 but Ben Underwood must take the plaudits as he snaffled 2 for 9 in his 7. Thommo and Bhav were selected to open the batting as it was felt their contrasting styles would gel together creating a formidable partnership. Sadly the best laid plans don’t always come off and both went relatively early. Ali Dewan showed some resistance at 3 with a good looking 21 but he made an average ball look good as he yorked himself and Simmo hit the ball hard but sadly for him straight to mid on. At 43 for 4 after 15 things looked a bit shaky for the KCC and good temperament was called for. Luckily DG and PK came together and began to play responsibly building a steady 50 partnership. DG went for 26 and PK shortly after for 25 leaving KCC some 90 runs short. This brought a formidable bating duo together Kevin “the lightening” Riley and Rickesh “fleetfoot” Patel. They began to embarrass the rather leaden footed opposition taking two where there was only one and one where there surely wasn’t. With gas and air for Kevin they cruised to the total with 4 overs to spare eventually finishing 48* Riley and 36* Patel. The mark of a good team is the ability to not play particularly well and still win. We let ourselves down with some average fielding and the top order failed to fire on a decent pitch against average bowling. Luckily strength in depth gave us great options and cool heads won the day. Stiffer opponents await and KCC must learn to pace a 50 over game and keep themselves interested to take every chance that comes their way. We stand 17 points clear at the top of Div 5 with a big trip to second place Geddington to come next week.
Kibworth won by 5 wickets
All of a sudden eleven Kibworth cricketers had an appreciation of what Scott of the Antartic must have gone through nearly 100 years ago. It is almost impossible to describe the bone numbing cold on the bottom square that could have led some of the team to cheerfully take up Polar Bear racing instead. I am here to tell you, it was cold!
Glen batted first. Messers Ainsworth and Gamble came with an aggressive mindset, if it was up there it was going, usually big and over to the legside. The usual bowling plan would have to be revisited if the score were to be kept to a sensible level.
Where pace and bounce had failed it was time to take the pace off the ball. Tim Neal had shown it was possible to bowl dibble dobble at funerial pace and The Bard joined him from the other end to see if it was possible for the batsman to fall asleep in between delivery and arrival of ball. Wether through boredom or brilliant bowling the Great Glen line up wilted under the extremely sedate pressure.
Tim got the party started by bowling Gamble, then the skipper bowled Ainsworth with one that trickled apologetically back onto the off peg. The Great Glen line up had been unhinged by more of a bouncing belly than a bouncing bomb but we had seen nothing yet. The very next ball a rank pie from the skipper was edged and taken one handed in the slip by Ken Pounds. It was turning into the mother of all red letter days for the Sunday XI.
Glen ended up 103 all out. Somehow the skipper had taken four wickets, Tim Neal two and Steve Elwood two. It was a day for experience alright and grown men must have wept at the thought.
In reply Kibworth were really troubled in their pursuit of the runs and eventually got there with some 11 overs to go. The real contest though was against the elements, could victory be secured before hypothermia set in? Now I realise that you might consider all this talk of weather as being a bit, well, poofy, but if the cold causes your nipples to stiffen to the size of the eiffel tower you have a problem.
Thankfully Harry Miller picked up the scoring rate and the defrosting could begin. It would be many hours before normal body temperature could be restored but it was a second win in three games which for the Sunday XI is about as rare as a pepper steak at a Vegeterian Society meeting. Heady days indeed
let me take you on a journey...
a journey to the lower leagues....
where the grass is long and the games are short.....
where young play with old and small fielders get lost in the grass on the square leg boundary...
where Kibworths 4s took on Shepshed towns 3s in the balmy backwaters of loughborough.
following a winning toss i put the home side in after foolishly listening to the met office.
When their captain informed me that a thousand pounds had been spent on the wicket during the winter i immediatly assumed we would be having a tea consisting of mainly root vegatables grown on that very square.
fortunately it played 200% better than it looked. With the opposition having a few old heads and mainly juniors it looked like a few early wickets would be the key. elliot and jamie t took the new ball and bowled well taking a couple of early wickets and restricting the run rate to a drip.
one thing to note about playing against juniors is that a junior is a junior unless it is a Kibworth junior, then it is a well coached well trained lean( sometimes) mean cricketing machine. this showed with some excellent fielding and bowling that had the home team down to 89 for 9. unfortunately the home captain batting at no.10 decided that enough was enough and smote the ball to all parts ending the innings with 135 for 9. Rob took 3 wickets in a good team bowling display
following a thankfully root vegatable free tea i opened with tad pole and feasted on the home sides wayward attack. tad rode his luck and i obviously used all mine up on one shot where i was caught at point after the ball hit gully's foot and bounced in the air. tad followed shortly after with what he described as his first middle of the day.
Imran materialised from planet zog and strode to the wicket with intent and jon butler who was in for his batting showed patience on a wicket that was slow and tricky. the 2 batted well together with imran doing the hitting and jon doing the calling.
when jon fell for a patient 16 the target was only 30 odd away with 20 overs to go. Rob Ellwood joined the imran roadshow for a few overs and then lee butler was in attendance as imran reached 50 and scored the winning run with a 4.
another great performance by the boys and once again backed up by the late replacements who slid into the side effortlessly.
to echo mr greenhalgh proud to be a kibby.
KCC 3rd XI entertained Old CC at Fleckney rd on the 1st of May 2010.
KCC won the toss and with the weather forecast set to rain elected to bat first.
Luke Spence and Rickesh Patel were united at the top of the order and proved an excellent combination as Rickesh poked the ball into the gaps and Luke Spence found the boundary on regular occasions cruising to a good looking 50. At 25 Overs KCC were 120 for no loss and both openers were told more of the same. With the first ball after drinks Rickesh came dancing down the track looking to push on and missed a wider one getting stumped on a decent looking 30 (ish) This brought Chris Hill to the crease who partnered Luke well both of them smashing the looser bowling to all parts. Chilli was eventually caught on the boundary for a well made 40(ish) PK and Bob Beevers came and went trying to push on and promoted Jay Boucher joined Luke at the crease. As Luke smashed his way to a hundred with a beautiful six back over the bowlers head Jay Boucher took up the fight and began smearing the ball around the park. Luke was eventually dismissed for 118 and Jay and Dave Greenhalgh took KCC to a final score of 262 with 33 and 11 not out respectively.
The weather held out over tea and KCC took the field needing to bowl at least 25 overs to record a game. The weather was the least of Old's problems however as Matthew Holyland steamed in from the Pavillion end taking the openng batsmen's edge in the first over with Chris Hill snatching a good cath at slip. Old then showed little resistance throughout with Matt and Tej Thakkar hitting excellent areas early on. Rickesh held a great catch at point and Bob Beevers took a comfortable one at mid wicket. Ben Underwood and Nelson PK came into the attack both nibbling the ball around and made life hard for the OLD middle order. PK snaffled two wickets and Ben looked good before pulling up with a back injury we all hope is just a little twinge. Luke Spence then came into the attack and proved his all round ability. With immediate turn and bounce OLD looked all at sea trying to shut up shop against the big man. Wickets began to tumble with regularity and with the last man dismissed Old finished on a dissapointing 95 all out. Luke Spence added figures of 12 overs, 5 wickets for 22 runs to his earlier century.
MVP: Errmm let me think....Luke Spence just about gets that one
A great win that sends out a message to the rest of the league that KCC 3rds are serious contenders at this level! We stand top of the league by a single point after the weekends results and travel to Gretton next week looking to build on two good performances
Thank you also to Roy Holyland who gave up his time (and nearly his car keys) to umpire for us. I hope he enjoyed the day and will join us again through the year
Yesterday, for probably the first time since Captain Caveman was in short trousers, the Sunday XI scored a win in April. The only concerns now are that the team has peaked too soon, left their best on the field with five months of cake eating still to go.
The fielding part, which restricted the visitors to 177, was a fine display of concentration, application and a cat like display behind the poles from John Bleby. The pick of the bowling was probably Ben Lodge, his left arm tweakers, some of which gripped quite considerably, got two wickets and only a mean bit of captaincy prevented more success. Olly Lodge and Chris Carson probed nicely, Vikesh Ghelani settled into a promising debut as did Jatin Lodhia whose leggies were on the money for the entire eight overs. Overall, an attack which was more Tellytubbies than Test Match special had done sterling work. Only some pretty indifferent catching (you know who you are) allowed the Taverners the score they finally achieved.
On such a fine batting wicket at the bottom square the target was eminently chaseable but the batting options were somewhat dependant on two players Rai Singh and Aadil Ali to dig in and make the score for the rest of the boys to work around. Victory or heinous defeat seemed equally possible and at 14 for 2 with Rai and Olly Lodge back in the hutch the champagne was less on ice and more going back to the shop.
That Kibworth did eventually triumph can be directly attributed to the 92 runs scored by Aadil that came undoubtedly out of the top draw. His talent has rarely been in question but his innings yesterday showed a huge amount of maturity. The sheer frustration at not seeing the job through was evident but he shouldn't be too downcast, it's a team game and without him the team wouldn't have been close.
Of course no man is an island, not even Abbo on a lilo, and without the able support of Paul Illingworth and Steve Elwood (43*) even Aadil's knock would have been in vain. When boy wonder did eventually fall some 21 were still needed so out strode the skipper with feigned confidence and sewage cologne to finish the job. With the brisk Taverners opening bowler in full cry the advice from the Chairman was not to worry, “we'll get them in edges”. Progress was slow, a few deliveries were worn but the victory was secured when The Bard swotted one through the Covers for a single which was ambled at a very leisurely pace. For the second time in as many weeks the skipper and chairman had come off at the end unbeaten.
In terms of great victories it probably ranks slightly behind at but for a few hardy souls on the bottom square it couldn't have been sweeter if Fearne Cotton had been smothered in honey.
It's good to be back. The Sunday XI, the team that time and weight watchers forgot, took to the field for the first time in 2010 on a barmy day at . As seasoned watchers will know the toss is not required on the Sabbath. The Bard still takes out the coin of the realm out to the middle, he merely invites to the opposition to choose what they want to do before it has a chance to land. Well, that is how it must look from the sidelines anyway. On this occasion the Taverners elected to field, perhaps not surprising since they had come with only 10 men and managed to poach a wandering player on the outfield by the name of Aamir Mahmood. The Kibworth XI should have been plenty strong enough to rack up the runs, even on a slow wicket, but proceeded to give out catching practice instead. Indeed seven of the eight wickets to fall went that way and the home side fell to a pretty ropey looking 66 for 6 after an hour. Sam Pole feathered one behind, Abbo spooned one back to the bowler, Aadil looked a million dollars before edging to slip, Rickesh dabbed when he should have despatched, Fido cut one to point and Illo got caught off his only major connection between bat and ball. The innings was rescued by Sergeant Wilko (52 – runs or years we are not sure) marshalling the efforts of Elliot Lodge (11) and Steve Elwood (16*) before a brief cameo from The Bard (7*) saw Kibby to a respectable 159 for 8. Elliot's innings was uncharacteristically patient, the Chairman nurdled and bashed in equal measure and The Bard used the edge of his willow to good effect. By contrast the bowling was tight and the fielding was keen and energetic, Fido in particular throwing himself around with great gusto behind the poles. Faced with a huge boundary on one side the youth of the team were left to patrol the wide open spaces with Rickesh in particular exceptional. Of course this meant the other side was patrolled by such luminaries as The Bard, Abbo, Wilkins and Thompson. If the field were a ship it would have doubtless capsized. The game hinged on the arrival of Aamir. Jamie Thompson who, even by his own ludicrously high standards, had transcended into the stratosphere of verbal slobber and confidently proclaimed he had the first teamers number whilst waiting to bat on the balcony. The Bard gave him three overs to prove his boast with his remaining three overs, his only major victory being only hit for four not six. With Aamir moving through the gears it took a sensational run out from Rickesh in the covers to remove him and the last over began with 12 required and the last pair at the crease. The equation became 5 from the last ball which was stoutly defended and an exciting game had ended in a draw. All five home bowlers had bowled with great control and no little skill, perhaps Aadil with his leg spin was the pick of the bunch but it was a really gutsy effort from the all boys which bodes well for the coming season
